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Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots? What is your opinion?

Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots? What is your opinion? VBlmQ
It is considered that some people believe all kinds of jobs would be done by artificial intelligence robots. I completely disagree with this opinion and I think that humans are important for some harmful jobs rather than robots. First of all, every time robots are not useful sometimes human intelligence is necessary in critical situations. Although, robot contains advanced technology it can’t help people perfectly like human. For example, in military operation humans should be alert in all the times to protect people in country from enemies. While robots can’t be active all the time sometimes battery may dead. So, therefore humans are real security for the people. Another example, robots as bomb squads are can’t disposes bomb at right time only humans can do it at the right time. Secondly, robots don’t know the value of emotions and mind of human. Robots are sometimes affecting the people’s emotions and sometimes loss of human’s life are also possible. As human is living in the society, he would know the value of emotions. For example, robots as judge in court can only visualize videos the evidence and don’t think intellectually what had happened exactly at that time. Humans can identify right person who involved to do crime and know the intention of a person to take right decision for judgement. To conclude, I strongly believe that for all types of job doesn’t depend on artificial intelligence robots. Sometimes only for some part of problem robots are useful to trace the enemy and detect bomb place. Robots are useful only to identify the places which are in danger.
It
is considered
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe all kinds of jobs would
be done
by artificial intelligence robots. I completely disagree with this opinion and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
harmful jobs
rather
than robots.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
robots are not useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
intelligence is necessary in critical situations.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, robot contains advanced technology it can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perfectly
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
For example
, in military operation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
should be alert in all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in country from enemies.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
robots can’t be active all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
battery may dead.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are real security for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another example, robots as bomb squads are can’t
The verb 'can't' requires base form of this verb: "dispose"
disposes
bomb at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
can do it at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
time.

Secondly
, robots don’t know the value of emotions and mind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. Robots are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
emotions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
life are
also
possible. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
is living in the society, he would know the value of emotions.
For example
, robots as judge in court can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
visualize videos the evidence and don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
intellectually
what had happened exactly at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Humans
can identify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
person who involved to do crime and know the intention of a person to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
decision for judgement.

To conclude
, I
strongly
believe that for all types of job doesn’t depend on artificial intelligence robots.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of problem robots are useful to trace the enemy and detect bomb place. Robots are useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to identify the places which are in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots? What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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