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In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of door after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your opinion about this?

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of door after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your opinion about this? 563JN
Recently, passing law related to the youth has sparked a heated debate. In some regions in the United States is a special restriction for young people that ban them from being outside their home after a certain hour. This essay will discuss about the mentioned phenomenon. From social stand point, keeping young people safe, especially teenagers, has become an important issue in some countries. Since after getting dark some places becoming dangerous, the law has been passed in order to protect young people from getting hurt. There may be a lot of different threats namely being raped, kidnaped etc. As a tangible example, a scientific research undertaken by a prestigious university has asserted that the crime rate after midnight has increased dramatically since 1990. Thus, people are obliged to keep their children inside their homes to keep them safe. On the other hand, the obligation of being at home could be helpful for study of the young people. School nights are important for learning if it be followed by a proper concentration on study. The people who spending enough time to do their homework have a better understanding of subjects. A study has been done by a local authority shows improvements in education of teenagers who live in these specific areas. As a result, remaining at home during nights could help students to spend enough time doing their homework which lead them to have better learning. To conclude, passing a law in order to prevent young people to be outside after certain time not only would keep them safe, but also could help them to have enough time for doing their homework and be ready for the next day of school.
Recently, passing law related to the youth has sparked a heated debate. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
regions in the United States is a special restriction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that ban them from being outside their home after a certain hour. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
mentioned phenomenon.

From social stand point, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
safe,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. Since after getting dark
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places becoming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, the law has
been passed
in order to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from getting hurt. There may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
threats
namely
being raped
,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "kidnapped", the past tense form of the verb 'kidnap'?
kidnaped
etc. As a tangible example, a scientific research undertaken by a prestigious university has asserted that the crime rate after midnight has increased
dramatically
since 1990.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are obliged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their children inside their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them safe.

On the other hand
, the obligation of being at home could be helpful for study of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. School nights are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for learning if it
Did you mean "is"?
be
followed by a proper concentration on study. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do their homework have a better understanding of subjects. A study has
been done
by a local authority
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
improvements in education of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in these specific areas.
As a result
, remaining at home during nights could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students to spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing their homework which lead them to have better learning.

To conclude
, passing a law in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be outside after certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them safe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for doing their homework and be ready for the
next
day of school.
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IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of door after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. what is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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