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Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed? RNkKV
The increasing unemployment across the world is increasing at an alarming rate. Although many people are starting their own businesses instead of choosing to work for a company, there are several reasons behind this transition and also some drawbacks that can overpower the former idea. The population has grown exponentially in the last two decades. The countries like India and China accumulate major working adults in the age group of 25-40. As a consequence, the limited job openings in a company and increased competition among the people had created a surplus of unemployed masses. Thus, to earn a living more and more adults are exploring the markets to start up their business. This mindset of young people in bringing change in the work culture and young entrepreneurs are rising in the countries. For instance, a hotel booking website OYO was founded by a 21-year-old boy in Mumbai after getting rejected for a job in an MNC, now the company is valued at $10 billion. Secondly, the work environment of most of the companies is hectic and stressful due to which people do not want to spend their lives in such surroundings. Eventually, a large number of the working population cannot sustain and quit their 9 to 5 jobs and few of them start working as a freelancer. However, the craze of managing a startup slowly falls short for many aspirants. In developing countries, the graduates have the skills and talent to build a successful business but the shortage of funds is a hurdle. Moreover, people take business loans from private banks at higher interest rates to kick start their venture. Also, it takes years for several people to start from scratch and make an earning from their business. Unfortunately, only a few of them succeed in actually making a profit, the rest are piled up with repaying the EMI of the loans. Even the businessmen do not have a fixed income and it creates a problem for them to maintain the monthly spending. In brief, self-employment can be a better choice for those who can bear the risk of running a business and managing in a way to sustain it over a period of time.
The increasing unemployment across the world is increasing at an alarming rate. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are starting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
instead
of choosing to work for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, there are several reasons behind this transition and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks that can overpower the former
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

The population has grown
exponentially
in the last two decades. The countries like India and China accumulate major working adults in the age group of 25-40. As a consequence, the limited job openings in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and increased competition among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had created a surplus of unemployed masses.
Thus
, to earn a living more and more adults are exploring the markets to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. This mindset of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in bringing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the work culture and young entrepreneurs are rising in the countries.
For instance
, a hotel booking website
Possible spelling mistake found.
OYO
was founded
by a 21-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy in Mumbai after getting rejected for a job in an
Possible spelling mistake found.
MNC
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is valued
at $10 billion.
Secondly
, the work environment of most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is hectic and stressful due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not want to spend their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in such surroundings.
Eventually
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
the working population cannot sustain and quit their 9 to 5 jobs and few of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
working as a freelancer.

However
, the craze of managing a startup
slowly
falls short for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspirants. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
, the graduates have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and talent to build a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the shortage of funds is a hurdle.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
loans from private banks at higher interest rates to kick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
their venture.
Also
, it takes years for several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
from scratch and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an earning from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
. Unfortunately,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few of them succeed in actually making a profit, the rest
are piled
up with repaying the EMI of the loans. Even the businessmen do not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
income and it creates a problem for them to maintain the monthly spending.

In brief
, self-employment can be a better choice for those who can bear the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of running a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and managing in a way to sustain it over a period of time.
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IELTS essay Now-a-days many people choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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