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Some people believe that education without punishment is spoiling the young generation in VietNam. To What extent do you agree or disgree?

Some people believe that education without punishment is spoiling the young generation in VietNam. AJ2Rn
It is true that there are controversies about how to educate a teenager right. People are claiming that it should be applied proper penalize to teach or raise a child in our country. Personally, I agree with this viewpoint for the following reasons. On the one hand, the first reason why I believe that parents should youngster using punishment is that it could change awareness of children. Especially, " punishment" is not known as using violence to teach them, it is a warning to children by acting like confiscation of toys or punishment of standing in the corner to realize their mistakes and eliminate bad behaviors. In other words, in case the child does not fulfill the "responsibility", the mother can cancel from the child a certain "right". For example, if the child does not do her homework on time, the mother may not allow her to watch TV in the evenings. That way, your child will understand that when she doesn't fulfill her responsibilities, she is not allowed to do what she likes. On the other hand, another explanation for training without chastening, it is believed the children have no sense of compliance with the rules. Children are too young to distinguish between wrong and bad deeds, so parents must teach discipline to children from a baby with punishments or children can be easily damaged later. Moreover, children who are not punished also easily develop despise for their parents, disrespect for adults, disregard for all rules, and polite rules. From what has been discussed above, in conclusion, I hold my position that raise up a child should be applied several suite punishments for them to distinguish right or wrong.
It is true that there are controversies about how to educate a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
right.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are claiming that it should
be applied
proper penalize to teach or raise a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in our country.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint for the following reasons.

On the one hand, the
first
reason why I believe that parents should youngster using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is that it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Especially
,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
punishment
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
is not known as using violence to teach them, it is a warning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by acting like confiscation of toys or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
of standing in the corner to realize their mistakes and eliminate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behaviors.
In other words
, in case the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does not fulfill the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
responsibility
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
, the mother can cancel from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
a certain
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
right
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
.
For example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does not do her homework on time, the mother may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV in the evenings. That way, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will understand that when she doesn't fulfill her responsibilities, she is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do what she likes.

On the other hand
, another explanation for training without chastening, it
is believed
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have no sense of compliance with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are too young to distinguish between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
deeds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach discipline to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from a baby with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be
easily
damaged later.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not punished
also
easily
develop despise for their parents, disrespect for adults, disregard for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, and polite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

From what has
been discussed
above,
in conclusion
, I hold my position that raise up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
should
be applied
several suite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
for them to distinguish right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that education without punishment is spoiling the young generation in VietNam.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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