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Some people believe that competitive sports have a positive effect on children’s education, while others believe there is no place for such sports in schools.Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that competitive sports have a positive effect on children’s education, while others believe there is no place for such sports in schools. E3gGx
With the advent of competitions in sports, more and more people subscribe to the view that children take benefits from participating in competitive sports in school curriculum. However, this notion has been reported by several people, who consider that these challenges may be a complete waste of time. This essay will elaborate on the arguments and show sports activities have more merit. On the one hand, it is understandable why many people opt for including competitive sports in school curriculum. The first reason is that it promotes children’s health, which consists of physical and mental health. Playing sports may boost the resistance to obesity, diabetes and other diseases and it is a good way of doing the exercise. Moreover, competitive sports help children relieve stress, depression and emotional problems caused by tensions in relationships. As a result, they are likely to be more relaxed, tireless and energetic. Furthermore, it is suggested that changing sports enhance children’s skills such as: setting their goals, sharpening the leader skill and organising teamwork. For example, if students take part in a sport match, they are likely to collaborate to strive for defeating the rival. Hence, the fighting spirits help them how to work to achieve their certain goal and increase their responsibility for the team. On the other hand, it is argued that challenging sports are time-consuming and this may distract children’s attention from their own study. If children do not balance between studying and playing, they may be attracted by rounds in competitive sports and this leads to lack of concentration on their studies and miss the lessons in class. As a result, they are likely to fail the exam and worsen their education. In conclusion, competitive sports has benefits and drawbacks. While it may make children’s education worsen, it brings them important skills if they know to manage their time. Personally, I believe that challenging sports should spread widely thanks to its huge advantages.
With the advent of competitions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
subscribe to the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
take benefits from participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in school curriculum.
However
, this notion has
been reported
by several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who consider that these challenges may be a complete waste of time. This essay will elaborate on the arguments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities have more merit.

On the one hand, it is understandable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opt for including
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in school curriculum. The
first
reason is that it promotes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
health, which consists of physical and mental health. Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
may boost the resistance to obesity, diabetes and other diseases and it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of doing the exercise.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, depression and emotional problems caused by tensions in relationships.
As a result
, they are likely to be more relaxed, tireless and energetic.
Furthermore
, it
is suggested
that changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as: setting their goals, sharpening the leader
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organising' is British English.
organising
teamwork.
For example
, if students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
match, they are likely to collaborate to strive for defeating the rival.
Hence
, the fighting spirits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them how to work to achieve their certain goal and increase their responsibility for the team.

On the other hand
, it
is argued
that challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are time-consuming and this may distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
attention from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
study. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not balance between studying and playing, they may
be attracted
by rounds in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and this leads to lack of concentration on their studies and miss the lessons in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
As a result
, they are likely to fail the exam and worsen their education.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has benefits and drawbacks. While it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education worsen, it brings them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
if they know to manage their time.
Personally
, I believe that challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should spread
widely
thanks to its huge advantages.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that competitive sports have a positive effect on children’s education, while others believe there is no place for such sports in schools.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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