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Some People Believe That Competitive Sports Can Cause Conflicts Between Nations

Some People Believe That Competitive Sports Can Cause Conflicts Between Nations QLoMw
Competitive sports attract audience from different nations and cultures. While some believe that such occasions promote unity among people of different cultures and nationalities, others fear that they lead to the escalation of tension among people. In my opinion sports always spread love and foster brotherhood among people irrespective of their nationality. Every year teams from different countries play competitive sports in global tournaments. The popularity of these events make people visit stadiums to watch them live. People supporting their national teams are root for their team’s victory. Even then they respect their opposition team and their supporters. People enjoy the competitive nature of the game and simultaneously interact with their opponents. This interaction between the people of different cultures is of mutual respect and admiration. FIFA Football world cup, for instance, sees stiff competition between arch rivals and their supporters are seen enjoying the game with their counterparts. Thus, it is evident that people of different origins come together to enjoy and amalgamate at these events. There are, however, many people who are wary of competitive sports and its after effects. They opine that competitive spirits in the high stake games raise tempers of the supporters of the losing team. As the emotions run high during such games there is every chance that serious altercations can occur between supporters of different teams. Sometimes emotional outburst is so phenomenal that tensions can even lead to a diplomatic crisis between the two nations. An India Pakistan cricket match, for example, is watched with fervor by the people of both the nations. It is always feared that this game might raise conflicts between two nations and aggravate their strained ties. In conclusion, in my opinion, frequent exposure to such competitive games eases the pressure associated with them and creates the atmosphere of bonding and affection between people with different backgrounds.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
attract audience from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and cultures. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that such occasions promote unity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and nationalities, others fear that they lead to the escalation of tension among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
always spread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and foster brotherhood among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
irrespective of their nationality.

Every year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in global tournaments. The popularity of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit stadiums to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
supporting their national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
are root for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team’s
victory. Even then they respect their opposition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
and their supporters.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
nature of the game and
simultaneously
interact with their opponents. This interaction between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures is of mutual respect and admiration. FIFA Football world cup,
for instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
stiff competition between arch rivals and their supporters are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
enjoying the game with their counterparts.
Thus
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
origins
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to enjoy and amalgamate at these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
. There are,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are wary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and its after effects. They opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
spirits in the high stake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
raise tempers of the supporters of the losing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
the emotions run high during such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
there is every chance that serious altercations can occur between supporters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
emotional outburst is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
phenomenal that tensions can even lead to a diplomatic crisis between the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. An India Pakistan cricket match,
for example
, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
with fervor by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. It is always feared that this game might raise conflicts between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
and aggravate their strained ties.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, frequent exposure to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eases
the pressure associated with them and creates the atmosphere of bonding and affection between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds.
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IELTS essay Some People Believe That Competitive Sports Can Cause Conflicts Between Nations

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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