Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

teacher, doctors, nurses are more important and paid more than people in the field of sports and entertainment.

teacher, doctors, nurses are more important and paid more than people in the field of sports and entertainment. doQnK
The given topic says that the professional workers like doctors, nurses and teacher have to paid more than the persons in field of sports and entertainment because they contribute more in the wealth of country. Firstly, the professions like doctor, nurses and teachers are the main pillars of any country in the world. Doctors and nurses make people more healthy so they can be fit and can do their work easily and can contribute in country’s productivity and economy continuously, therefore, country may able to do development. Development of country is directly connected with development of peoples of the country. In addition, teachers are also have the important role in society. They can decide the future of society by teaching the youth of society. If they teach youth in a right way then no on can stop the society to be a better place for living. Good eduction can reduce the crime rate and increase the creative productivity and technological development in society. So they may deserve a more payslip than others. The sports and entertainment personals are paid more because they have popularity and brand value which make them paid more. They earn more because the entertainment and sports field have more demanded by the people of society. In conclusion, professional workers have more important role in society so they deserve to be paid more than others but the fact is the sports and entertainment field personals are more famous and have more demand in society that is why they paid more.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
topic says that the professional workers like doctors, nurses and teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more than the persons in field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they contribute more in the wealth of country.

Firstly
, the professions like doctor, nurses and teachers are the main pillars of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the world. Doctors and nurses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
be fit
and can do their work
easily
and can contribute in
Possible spelling mistake found.
country’s
productivity and economy
continuously
,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Did you mean "may be able"?
may able
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Development
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
directly
connected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
of peoples of the country.

In addition
, teachers are
also
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. They can decide the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by teaching the youth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. If they teach youth
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
then
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
on can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to be a better place for living.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Good eduction
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the crime rate and increase the creative productivity and technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they may deserve a more payslip than others.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and entertainment personals are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have popularity and brand value which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more. They earn more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the entertainment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
field have more demanded by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of society.

In conclusion
, professional workers have more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they deserve to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more than others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the fact is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and entertainment field personals are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and have more demand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that is
why they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
more.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay teacher, doctors, nurses are more important and paid more than people in the field of sports and entertainment.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts