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Character is influenced by the environment rather than genetics? To what extent do you agree

Character is influenced by the environment rather than genetics? To what extent do you agree 7alKA
Answer: Territory affect personality more than hereditary. This essay, views my opinion that, I strongly agree the fact that attitude is been modified by our domain. There are several reasons by which homes influences behaviour, this could be peer group and family. To start with, peer group, plays major role in enhancing one's attitude. Research carried out in 2019, stated in the statistics that 80% - 90% individuals are been remodelled by peer group. In addition, this peer group, depending on their way of life, affect people most. For instance, a child who does not smoke is likely to start smoking as a result of peer group influence which an effect. Secondly, the widest being the family, this involves size, educational status, religious belief, finance etc has diverse ways of modifying child's behaviour. Furthermore, a child trained by an elderly parents will behave differently from one raised by young parents. For example, twins trained in rural and country side, the rural trained was hard working, withdrawn and shy while the country side is quite opposite, a talkative, open and temperamental. To conclude, regarding the stated views, there is no doubt that peer group and family has great impact in modifying nature more than gene.
Answer:

Territory affect personality more than hereditary. This essay, views my opinion that, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
the fact that attitude
is been
modified by our domain. There are several reasons by which homes influences
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, this could be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and family.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, plays major role in enhancing one's attitude. Research carried out in 2019, stated in the statistics that 80%
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
90% individuals
are been
Possible spelling mistake. 'remodelled' is British English.
remodelled
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
In addition
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, depending on their way of life, affect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
most.
For instance
, a child who does not smoke is likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
smoking
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
influence which an effect.

Secondly
, the widest being the family, this involves size, educational status, religious belief, finance etc has diverse ways of modifying child's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Furthermore
, a child trained by an elderly parents will behave
differently
from one raised by young parents.
For example
, twins trained in rural and country side, the rural trained was
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
, withdrawn and shy while the country side is quite opposite, a talkative, open and temperamental.

To conclude
, regarding the stated views, there is no doubt that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
and family has great impact in modifying nature more than gene.
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IELTS essay Character is influenced by the environment rather than genetics? To what extent do you agree

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
204 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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