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Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion 1aXnN
Children are the future of this world, and hence it is absolutely essential that they realize the distinction between right and wrong and people often assort to methods like punishments to make them understand this. I partially agree with this statement and this essay will put forth as to why I do so and also the various means of punishment that can be imposed on children. First and foremost, all humans commit mistakes and children are no exception. However, most of the mistakes committed by children are due to lack of awareness and knowledge. In such cases, it is more appropriate to advise them and try to rectify the mistake. Nevertheless, in some cases where the child is seen to be repeatedly committing the same fault, then it is better that the child is punished so that it can leave an imprint on the child’s mind. Coming to punishments, in no way do I agree with physical punishments since it is unethical and illogical to inflict physical harm upon a child. In fact, parents and teachers must choose punishments in such a way that it makes the child reevaluate his or her fault and it is their duty to make sure that the children do not end up fearing the punishments, but rather understand as to why the punishment was imposed. Examples of such punishments could be imposing restrictions, detentions at school, impositions etc. Consequently, the child will understand where he or she went wrong and would try not to repeat the mistake. For example, my sister’s smartphone addiction grew exponentially during the lockdown that it started affecting her grades, which forced my parents to restrict her screen time. She faced problems at first, but then understood her mistake, and worked harder to achieve better grades. Thus, keeping in mind the importance of teaching children the right things at the right time, it is also essential to focus on the way in which these things are taught to the children, so that we can ensure a prosperous and healthy future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
are the future of this world, and
hence
it is
absolutely
essential that they realize the distinction between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
assort to methods like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand this. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and this essay will put forth as to why I do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
and
also
the various means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
that can
be imposed
on children.

First
and foremost, all humans commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are no exception.
However
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistakes
committed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are due to lack of awareness and knowledge. In such cases, it is more appropriate to advise them and try to rectify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
.
Nevertheless
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
to be
repeatedly
committing the same fault, then it is better that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is punished
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
an imprint on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mind.

Coming to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
, in no way do I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
since it is unethical and illogical to inflict physical harm upon a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
. In fact, parents and teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
in such a way that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
reevaluate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
fault and it is their duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up fearing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
rather
understand as to why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
was imposed
. Examples of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
could be imposing restrictions, detentions at school, impositions etc.
Consequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will understand where he or she went
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and would try not to repeat the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
.
For example
, my sister’s smartphone addiction grew
exponentially
during the lockdown that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
affecting her grades, which forced my parents to restrict her screen time. She faced problems at
first
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
then understood her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mistake
, and worked harder to achieve better grades.

Thus
, keeping in mind the importance of teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
the right things at the right time, it is
also
essential to focus on the way in which these things
are taught
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can ensure a prosperous and healthy future.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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