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Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. mOKA
People have different viewpoints regarding how free time should be utilized by children. While some people believe that important activities should be prioritized in their ideal time, others deem that children should have the freedom to do whatever they want. Although I agree with the former view, this essay will also discuss the correct utilization of free time. On the one hand, it might be said that organized activities are played a significant role in children's holistic development. In other words, If children will involve in such activities, it will enrich some future related skills like leadership and goal achievement, which leads to success not only in academics but also in life after studies. In addition to it, children may become physically strong as such activities are physically challenging. For example, game-like volleyball requires 100% consciousness as well as fitness. Thus, this makes it clear that children should participate in life development activities. On the other hand, some people oppose this view and think that freedom should be given to children in their free time. Firstly, childhood is the best time in anyone's life. If children will do whatever they want, it will help children and parents to find out their inner skills. For instance, a famous Indian cricketer, Sachin Tendulkar, reveals in one interview that his father got to know about his passion for cricket when he was playing with the ball after school time. From this, it becomes quite evident that children are free to invest their time in their way. In conclusion, although children should have the right to spare their time without any restrictions as it helps them to decide their career goals, organized activities make them physically as well as mentally fit.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
viewpoints regarding how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should
be utilized
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should
be prioritized
in their ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, others deem that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have the freedom to do whatever they want. Although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former view, this essay will
also
discuss the correct utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
time.

On the one hand, it might
be said
that organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are played
a significant role in children's holistic development.
In other words
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will involve in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, it will enrich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
future related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like leadership and goal achievement, which leads to success not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in academics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in life after studies.
In addition
to it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may become
physically
strong as such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
physically
challenging.
For example
, game-like volleyball requires 100% consciousness
as well
as fitness.
Thus
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should participate in life development activities.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
oppose this view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that freedom should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Firstly
, childhood is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in anyone's life. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Consider removing 'will'. (Usually, 'will' does not occur in a conditional clause, unless in the sense 'want to' or 'be willing to'.)
will do
whatever they want, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and parents to find out their inner
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Indian cricketer,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, reveals in one interview that his father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to know about his passion for cricket when he was playing with the ball after school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. From this, it becomes quite evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to invest their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in their way.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should have the right to spare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without any restrictions as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to decide their career goals, organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
physically
as well
as mentally fit.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should do organised activities in their free time while others believe that children should be free to do what they want to do in their free time. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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