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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information be may relevant and useful. Others disagree. Describe these both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons and relevant examples to support the answer.

It is common practice that companies ask personal details of the application during their hiring process. Whether this information is really important for the employer to make the hiring decision or it is a just over detail of the application process, it is matter of discussion. I believe to some extent, but over detail is not suitable. Some prejudice people think that, while asking too many personal details for the applicant, employer is invading his/her personal life. The point of view is supported by the basic human right argument that asking for personal information is against that right. Moving on, they think that these personal details are safe with the employer, confidentially can be breached, and information can be misused if it landed in the wrong hands. For Instance, these details can be used to create fraudulent documents, or if there are copies of personal documents like Identity cards they can used to buy guns. There is risk that due to this irresponsibility of employers, many innocent people could be trapped in the crimes they never did. The other aspect of this view point is that, whey the personal information is important, employer should ask for professional details of applicant or employees. Their personal information has nothing to do with their experience, education and skills that they carry for a particular job. On contrary, the other view point is that these details are important for employer to know before they mare hiring decision. They think that knowing these all details help human resource department to understand the employee’s behavior, liking and disliking, and his social circumstances. To support their view point they say that knowing employee hobbies and interest will not harm employee right anyway but it will help the employer to work for welfare of his employee. For instance, if the employee is like go gym everyday the employer can include the gym subscription fee in this package to keep him/her motivated. If the employee has family and he /she like to travel with family employer can help him/her to support this trip financially rather them giving them salary bonus. To conclude, I believe that there is no problem if our employer asking us some personal details as long as they are strict on the confidentiality of personal details. I believe if our employer will have more detail about or personal life, they will be able to provide us better working environment.
It is common practice that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
ask
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of the application during their hiring process. Whether this
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information
is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
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employer
to
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make
the hiring
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decision or
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over
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detail
of the application process, it is matter of discussion. I
The usual collocation for “believe” is “in”, not “to”. Did you mean “believe in”?
believe to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
over
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detail
is not suitable.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
prejudice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, while asking too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
for the applicant,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
is invading his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
is supported
by the basic human right argument that asking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is against that right. Moving on, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
are safe with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
,
confidentially
can
be breached
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be misused
if it landed in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
hands.
For Instance
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to create fraudulent documents, or if there are copies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
documents like Identity cards they can
Did you mean “be used”?
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
guns. There is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
that due to this irresponsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could
be trapped
in the crimes they never did. The other aspect of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
is that, whey the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
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employer
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
of applicant or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has nothing to do with their experience, education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they carry for a particular job.

On contrary, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
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employer
to know
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before
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun ‘they’. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they mare
hiring decision. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that knowing these all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
human resource department to understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee’s
behavior, liking and disliking, and his social circumstances. To support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
they say that knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
hobbies and interest will not harm
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
right anyway
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
to work for welfare of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
.
For instance
, if the
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employee
is like go gym
‘Everyday’ is an adjective. Did you mean “every day”?
everyday
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
can include the gym subscription fee in this package to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
him/her motivated. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
has family and he /she
The pronoun ‘she’ requires a third-person verb or a past tense. Or did you forget to add a verb?
like
to travel with family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him/her to support this trip
financially
rather
them giving them salary bonus.

To conclude
, I believe that there is no problem if our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
asking us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
as long as they are strict on the confidentiality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
. I believe if our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
will have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
detail
about or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life, they will be able to provide us better working environment.
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IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information be may relevant and useful. Others disagree. Describe these both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons and relevant examples to support the answer.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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