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Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days, use of mobile phones at school environment is becoming increasingly popular among youngsters. While some people say that usage of digital devices in school should be restricted, I share the view with one's who consider allowance of mobile phones for students as a right decision. On the one hand, some argue that school students should not use cell phones in classroom studies to keep away from unproductive hours. They point out that rather than paying attention to teachers, students often spend more time staring at their phones and being distracted by different notifications, such as social media. This in turn, they think, would affect their academic performance negatively. Also, people, who suggest enforcing a mobile ban in schools, state that allowing students to use their phones might also bring detrimental health problems, like concentration disorders or eyesight problems. Thus, they believe that by encouraging school students to use cell phones, it is likely that it would open doors for children to be affected by health problems, while also fall behind to come up with their academic studies. However, I support the view of those who think it is better to permit the use of cell phones at school for educational and medical purposes. Often there might be situations when children have to get in touch with their parents. For example, if there is a case of emergency, such as health problems, children can get in contact with their parents. Moreover, smartphones not only can be used for medical reasons, but also students can take advantage of it by searching for useful information related to their studies. Sometimes information provided in class books are not enough to understand or explore the topic in more detail. However, by using pnones they can easily reach out to new data and discuss it with classmates and teacher. Therefore, digital devices can be an effective tool when it comes to gain throughout knowledge in their studies, as well as serve as a valuable appliance in possible urgent cases. In conclusion, although I can understand those who believe that cell phones can distract school students from lessons, I personally stand for those who think that these devices would bring some valuable opportunities to learning process.
These days,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment is becoming
increasingly
popular among youngsters. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that usage of digital devices in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should
be restricted
, I share the view with
The possessive apostrophe seems to be incorrect. Did you mean the plural noun “ones”?
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
consider allowance of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as a right decision.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in classroom studies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from unproductive hours. They point out that
rather
than paying attention to teachers,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
spend more time staring at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and
being distracted
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
notifications, such as social media. This in turn, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, would affect their academic performance
negatively
.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
suggest enforcing a mobile ban in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, state that allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
might
also
bring detrimental health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, like concentration disorders or eyesight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Thus
, they believe that by encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, it is likely that it would open doors for children to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, while
also
fall behind to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with their academic studies.

However
, I support the view of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to permit the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for educational and medical purposes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
there might be situations when children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with their parents.
For example
, if there is a case of emergency, such as health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, children can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in contact with their parents.
Moreover
, smartphones not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for medical reasons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can take advantage of it by searching for useful information related to their studies.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
information provided in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
books are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to understand or explore the topic in more detail.
However
, by using
Possible spelling mistake found.
pnones
they can
easily
reach out to new data and discuss it with classmates and teacher.
Therefore
, digital devices can be an effective tool when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to gain throughout knowledge in their studies,
as well
as serve as a valuable appliance in possible urgent cases.

In conclusion
, although I can understand those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can distract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from lessons, I
personally
stand for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these devices would bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable opportunities to learning process.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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