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Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence. awynX
Significant number of people are of the view that, the culture of a person are always define by their Homeland of which they live, while other school of thought believe that has only a slight effect. This essay shall strongly debunk to the former perception without any doubt and further bring to bare the reasons to it after which a suitable conclusion will be met. First And foremost, Major advancements in technology has let the the culture of an individual limit from his or her country of origin. In this modern era, the level of technological improvements such as Television, mobile phone, the use of internet etc has made many people learn other nations culture easily, which some can even portray a foreign culture even though, the person is in his homeland. For instance, a friend of mine who is residing in Ghana eats and behaves like an American but has never visited America before. This is all because he has learn more of the American culture on the internet and has started having effect on him because of the present day technology. Moreover, Parenting has a major impact on child’s culture. It is widely known in the Bible that, “Teach the child the right thing so he does not depart from it in the future “ Every Child learn much from their parents. whatever a parent will teach the child that’s what he or she will grow to be with. Some parents can teach their wards different culture while they are in another country. The more they teach them with different cultures, the more the child learns that. For example, my senior sister who is an entrepreneur, and normally does business with Chinese for which she has acquired their accent and lifestyle of living. Due to this all her children eat with sticks and are very eloquent in the Chinese language but they live in Ghana. To conclude, I Reaffirm my point of view believing that, a person culture does not determine by the country of origin. I will recommend every individual to live the life he or she wants despite the nations they belongs.
Significant number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the view that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a person are always
Consider using a past participle here: "defined".
define
by their Homeland of which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, while other school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
believe that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a slight effect. This essay shall
strongly
debunk to the former perception without any doubt and
further
bring to bare the reasons to it after which a suitable conclusion will
be met
.

First
And foremost, Major advancements in technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of an individual limit from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
country of origin. In this modern era, the level of technological improvements such as Television, mobile phone, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet etc has made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
other nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
easily
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
can even portray a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
even though
, the person is in his homeland.
For instance
, a friend of mine who is residing in Ghana eats and behaves like an American
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has never visited America
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This is all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he has
Use past participle here: "learned", "learnt".
learn
more of the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
on the internet and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
having effect on him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the present day technology.

Moreover
, Parenting has a major impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. It is
widely
known in the Bible that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
the right thing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he does not depart from it in the future
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
much from their parents.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
whatever
a parent will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
that’s what he or she will grow to be with.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
their wards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
while they are in another country. The more they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, the more the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learns
that.
For example
, my senior sister who is an entrepreneur, and
normally
does business with Chinese for which she has acquired their accent and lifestyle of living. Due to this all her children eat with sticks and are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
eloquent in the Chinese language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Ghana.

To conclude
, I Reaffirm my point of view believing that, a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
does not determine by the country of origin. I will recommend every individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
the life he or she wants despite the nations they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "belong"
belongs
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that a person's culture is defined by their country of origin, while others believe that has only a minor influence.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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