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Some people believe that a person improves their intellectual skills with a group of people more than by doing personal activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that a person improves their intellectual skills with a group of people more than by doing personal activities. kVrR
In recent decades, many researchers have studied the importance of group-level comprehension. Although, some intellectuals believe that it is always better to study on own, researches have often showed the other picture. There have been convincing evidence that group activities improve the intelligence of individuals. In my opinion, there are surely more advantages of working in groups than as a single entity. Firstly, team games mostly require the individuals to perform a diverse range of rapid mental calculations. For instance, a player has to predict and anticipate all the possible actions that the competitor can take with very tight time constraints. A recent study of Cambridge University showed that a soccer player in a fraction of time figures out lots of permutations and combinations from a single soccer event. These predictive powers resulting from the activities performed in a group context improve the mental ability of the individual. Secondly, study groups enable individuals to obtain information that they might not be able to acquire in isolation. The reason behind is that in isolation a person often lacks good feedback. This is very necessary for the refinement of the understanding of concepts. For instance, a British Learning Group found out that study groups have a far more objective and sophisticated understanding of topics when compared to people or the learners not part of study-groups. In conclusion, I believe the notion that group activities do improve the intellectual abilities of an individual. With time it is hoped that more schools will try to felicitate group studies and games for a better study culture. (261 Words)
In recent decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
researchers have studied the importance of group-level comprehension. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intellectuals believe that it is always better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, researches have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the other picture. There have been convincing evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the intelligence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
. In my opinion, there are
surely
more advantages of working in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
than as a single entity.

Firstly
, team games
mostly
require the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to perform a diverse range of rapid mental calculations.
For instance
, a player
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
predict and anticipate all the possible actions that the competitor can take with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tight time constraints. A recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of Cambridge University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that a soccer player in a fraction of time figures out lots of permutations and combinations from a single soccer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. These predictive powers resulting from the activities performed in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
context
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the mental ability of the individual.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to obtain information that they might not be able to acquire in isolation. The reason behind is that in isolation a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lacks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
feedback. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary for the refinement of the understanding of concepts.
For instance
, a British Learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Group
found out that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
have a far more objective and sophisticated understanding of topics when compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or the learners not part of study-groups.

In conclusion
, I believe the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
activities do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the intellectual abilities of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
. With
The comma is probably missing here: "time, it".
time it
is hoped
that more schools will try to felicitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
and games for a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
culture. (261 Words)
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IELTS essay Some people believe that a person improves their intellectual skills with a group of people more than by doing personal activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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