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We can see more disasters and violence what are its causes and what effects excert on the individuals and the society.

We can see more disasters and violence what are its causes and what effects excert on the individuals and the society. Y0bK
Television news is an important source of information in all over the world but nowadays television news shows more disasters and violence. This essay will discuss the reasons and also give some effects on the people and the community. To commence with, there are some reasons why Tv news is filled with violence and disasters. First and foremost, Tv channels want to increase their TRP because if television rating point will be high then it will get more adverts. As a result, their income will be increase. In addition to this, most of the people want to watch what is happening around them so that is why Tv channels broadcast these kinds of news. For example, a survey reveals that 50% of masses like to watch violence and disasters related news. Hence, due to all these reasons violence and disasters are common program on Tv. However, there are many effects on individuals and society of watching violence and disasters news. Firstly, it has great influence on children. Media violence can stimulate fear in some children. Moreover, if they will watch for a long time then they will become rude, agressive, mischievious and they will lose their moral and ethical values. Secondly, youngsters imitate what they see. Consequently, they will commit violence in the community. which will create a major problem. Next to it, some older people are suffering from heart diseases when they watch these kinds of programs on Tv. For instance, they may face the heart diseases and even death also. Thus, violence and disasters programs has large impact on the individuals and the society. In conclusion, violence and disasters has become common program on television. This essay discussed the causes and also discussed effects on people and the society.
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Television
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news
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
source of information in all over the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
nowadays
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television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
more
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disasters
and
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violence
. This essay will discuss the reasons and
also
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects on the
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people
and the community. To commence with, there are
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some
reasons why
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Tv
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news
is filled
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
.
First
and foremost,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
channels want to increase their TRP
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
rating point will be high then it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more adverts.
As a result
, their income will be increase.
In addition
to this, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
what is happening around them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
channels broadcast these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
For example
, a survey reveals that 50% of masses like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
related
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news
.
Hence
, due to all these reasons
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violence
and
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disasters
are common
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program
on
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Tv
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects on individuals and society of watching
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violence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Firstly
, it has great influence on children. Media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
can stimulate fear in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children.
Moreover
, if they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
for a long time then they will become rude,
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
,
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mischievious and
they will lose their moral and ethical values.
Secondly
, youngsters imitate what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
.
Consequently
, they will commit
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violence
in the community.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
will create a major problem.
Next
to it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
older
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people
are suffering from heart diseases when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
.
For instance
, they may face the heart diseases and even death
also
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
has large impact on the individuals and the society.
In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disasters
has become common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
program
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. This essay discussed the causes and
also
discussed effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the society.
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IELTS essay We can see more disasters and violence what are its causes and what effects excert on the individuals and the society.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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