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Some People believe that a better way to reduce crime is to have longer sentences, while others think that there are alternatives to this problem.Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some People believe that a better way to reduce crime is to have longer sentences, while others think that there are alternatives to this problem. ljRQ9
In our modern world, an increase in crime rates are being a major factor that worries the people of almost all parts of the world. Some believe that staying a longer time in jails will reduce crimes. While others stick to the point that the are other ways to solve this problem. This essay will discuss both the views in deep. In general, many people think that the criminal should be punished with longer sentences due to several reasons. Firstly, there are different types of culprits with varying criminal records like theft, murder, sexual harassment, etc. It is believed that during their stay in prison, they will have the opportunity to be rehabilitated through many services. Following this, they might end up having a rethink and great regrets. They find their own ways in order not to re-offend in their life. Moreover, this way is also beneficial for the reduction of crimes in our surrounding areas. Thus, it discourages other criminals to attempt a crime in present. On the contrary, people also suggest that there are many more solutions to this problem. I am certain that all the offenders are not the same that we may look at them for enlightenment. Some may get more violent and merciless. They may find satisfaction on all those bad deeds and will continue to follow the wrong path that they once chose. For example, there are some cases in history which tell us about some of such offenders, who after committing a crime, becomes a complete psychopath and hence, does not care about their future. They must be educated and offered with employment plans so that they could improve their life situations. However, there are certain lawbreakers who commit a crime like a robbery without a way out. This may be due to different life situations like debts and poverty. So we must allow a room to justify these crimes. In conclusion, longer sentence to prison and offering kind opportunities may not work to some extent so as to reduce crimes. I think the government should opt a better solution apart from these, instead.
In our modern world, an increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates are being a major factor that worries the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of almost all parts of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that staying a longer time in jails will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others stick to the point that
Did you mean "they are" or "there are"?
the are
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to solve this problem. This essay will discuss both the views in deep.

In general
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the criminal should
be punished
with longer sentences due to several reasons.
Firstly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of culprits with varying criminal records like theft, murder, sexual harassment, etc. It
is believed
that during their stay in prison, they will have the opportunity to
be rehabilitated
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
services. Following this, they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up having a rethink and great regrets. They find their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
in order not to re-offend in their life.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
is
also
beneficial for the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in our surrounding areas.
Thus
, it discourages other criminals to attempt a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in present.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
also
suggest that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more solutions to this problem. I am certain that all the offenders are not the same that we may look at them for enlightenment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more violent and merciless. They may find satisfaction on all those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
deeds and will continue to follow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path that they once chose.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases in history which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of such offenders, who after committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, becomes a complete psychopath and
hence
, does not care about their future. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be educated
and offered with employment plans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life situations.
However
, there are certain lawbreakers who commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like a robbery without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
out. This may be due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
life situations like debts and poverty.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a room to justify these crimes.

In conclusion
, longer sentence to prison and offering kind opportunities may not work to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should opt a better solution apart from these,
instead
.
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IELTS essay Some People believe that a better way to reduce crime is to have longer sentences, while others think that there are alternatives to this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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