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Some people believe television is a great invention, while other think it is a waste of time. Discuss both the view

Some people believe television is a great invention, while other think it is a waste of time. Discuss both the view r1XQ2
The modern era has seen many changes that took place in the last century of various advancements. The current topic of 'television' can be explained clearly by giving arguments to clarify the topic. There are opposite views to every opinion, and this topic is not different. I intend to put forward my case that will present both the perks and flaws of the issue. To explain the first case of the topic, one can present the argument that the proponents of 'television' support its positive effects. My case can be further elaborated that these favourable situations give a better outcome regarding the confusion of the issue. In addition, the final argument is in favour of 'television'. However, an opposing point of view is that the opponents are against 'television'. If we look at the other side of the issue, the opponents regarding 'television' explain the negative effects of the topic. Moreover, the result of the negative effects can cause major issue regarding the topic. As a result, one cannot ignore the drawbacks of 'television'. In essence, the current topic can be summarized as there are both pros and cons regarding 'television'.
The modern era has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
that took place in the last century of various advancements. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
'television'
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
clearly
by giving arguments to clarify the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
. There are opposite views to every opinion, and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. I intend to put forward my case that will present both the perks and flaws of the issue.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
first
case of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
, one can present the argument that the proponents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
'television'
support its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects. My case can be
further
elaborated that these
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
situations give a better outcome regarding the confusion of the issue.
In addition
, the final argument is in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
'television'
.
However
, an opposing point of view is that the opponents are against 'television'.

If we look at the other side of the issue, the opponents regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
'television'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
.
Moreover
, the result of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects can cause major issue regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
.
As a result
, one cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the drawbacks of 'television'.

In essence, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
topic
can
be summarized
as there are both pros and cons regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
'television'
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe television is a great invention, while other think it is a waste of time. Discuss both the view

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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