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some people believe some of them are born with a talent. but others think talents can be given with taught.

some people believe some of them are born with a talent. but others think talents can be given with taught. gY0ed
Talent always has been one of the important things among people. Some of them believe that some people are born with specific talents or not. Nonetheless, others think they can be taught to become great at sport, music or so on. I think both of them can be true in some ways. (52) Some people assume that a person who is born can be gifted or not. First of all, this awareness gives them a self-confidence. When they know they are talented they believe that they can do their best. Secondly, this belief can boost their motivation. When they know they are great in something and they see their success in it, they will believe that their wills are not unreachable and it helps them to maintain their motivation. (77) On the other hand, others argue that being good at everything needs just teaching. First of all, it can lead to high amount of effort. When people know that they can earn what they want without considering a thing called “ talent”, they will believe that they can reach their imagines. Secondly, jealously can be demolished. When they know they can boost their skills with training, they will know that earn everything is possible with this theory, because they will know that nobody occupies their station, and this can help them to reduce their jealously. (98) In conclusion, although there are some people who believe some of them are born with a talent and the other believe any person can gain talent with teaching, I think some people are born with a certain talent and others are not. But some talents are adventitious. (47)
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Talent
always has been one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
or not. Nonetheless, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they can
be taught
to become great at sport, music or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both of them can be true in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways. (52)

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that a person who
is born
can
be gifted
or not.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, this awareness gives them a self-confidence.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
they
are talented
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they can do their best.
Secondly
, this belief can boost their motivation. When they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
they are great in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
something and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their success in it, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that their wills are not unreachable and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to maintain their motivation. (77)

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others argue that being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at everything needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
teaching.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it can lead to high amount of effort. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that they can earn what they want without considering a thing called
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
“
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent”
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they can reach their imagines.
Secondly
,
jealously
can
be demolished
. When they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
they can boost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
with training, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that earn everything is possible with this theory,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
that nobody occupies their station, and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
jealously
. (98)

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them
are born
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
any person can gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
with teaching, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
are not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talents
are adventitious. (47)
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IELTS essay some people believe some of them are born with a talent. but others think talents can be given with taught.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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