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In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students.

In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. MmV0Q
It is suggested that authorities permit to people who are students may have occupation in time by their fiscal condition. On the second hand, I think the state should not spent a lot of money for artists and painters. There are some reasons that they need to find sponser for themselves in order to become self sufficient but state must pay attention to other fields, such as healthcare, education, armed forces, tourisim etc. painters need to create conditions for themselves to by their products. In other words, artists also have to sell their products to abroad. When the state has to allocate money to them, their work brings much benefit to the state. Their art is very expensive, so they should be able to use it. Many famouses help to state because they have been abo to use their art properly. Thus, artistr and painters are self-sufiicient and the authorities do not have to squander money to them. To sum up, in my opinion, the political sections ought to allocate a great deals of money to talenteds but they need help necessary.
It
is suggested
that authorities permit to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are students may have occupation in time by their fiscal condition. On the second hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
should not
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for artists and painters. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons that they need to find
Possible spelling mistake found.
sponser
for themselves in order to become
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self sufficient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay attention to other fields, such as healthcare, education, armed forces,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tourisim
etc. painters need to create conditions for themselves to
Did you maybe mean "buy" or "be"?
by
their products.
In other words
, artists
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sell their products to abroad. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
allocate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to them, their work brings much benefit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
. Their art is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake found.
famouses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have been
Possible spelling mistake found.
abo
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their art
properly
.
Thus
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
artistr
and painters are
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-sufiicient
and the authorities do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
squander
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to them. To sum up, in my opinion, the political sections ought to allocate a great deals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to talenteds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
necessary.
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IELTS essay In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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