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Some people believe positive thinking has benefits, while others consider it has drawbacks. Discuss both these views, and give your own opinion.

Some people believe positive thinking has benefits, while others consider it has drawbacks. nN1yR
In many years, many pieces of research show that the people who always keep the beautiful moments in their mind, they would have the longer lifespan than the others. However, having some parts of the world think that positive thinking still exists many negatives. In this essay will consider and analyze the two views mentioned above in depth. To begin with, it is fact that the people who have positive thinking have many advantages, in general, to mention when they work. First of all, they are normally dynamic and full of energy. It means that they work with a lot of passion and enthusiasm. They always look at things in the good ways and finding the positive parts in all the disadvantages things because of that, they will overcome the troubles, solve the problems easily and getting back their good emotions faster. Moreover, their thinking not only helps themselves but also bring the comfortable working environment to colleagues. As regards the second view, it seems this view is not more justified. As a matter of fact, the people who always make everything in the serious ways of thinking, they will feel extremely heavy and uncomfortable. With them, most of the work will become hard to carry out and they feel scary or worry when have to face troubles. Besides that, if their mind may not opening, it will have a huge impact on their health. According to the doctor, they always advise their patients to keep their head in a state of relaxation. Only with the way of thinking may contribute many best things the humanlife. To sum up, people should be given the opportunity to themselves and trying to look all parts by the positive thinking. However, in some case of natural life, they also need to learn how to look at the fact of matters and update for themselves the knowledge and experience to reduce the problems.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pieces of research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
moments in their mind, they would have the longer lifespan than the others.
However
, having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
still
exists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
negatives. In this essay will consider and analyze the two views mentioned above in depth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages,
in general
, to mention when they work.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, they are
normally
dynamic and full of energy. It means that they work with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
passion and enthusiasm. They always look at things in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ways and finding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
parts in all the disadvantages things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that, they will overcome the troubles, solve the problems
easily
and getting back their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
emotions faster.
Moreover
, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
bring the comfortable working environment to colleagues.

As regards the second view, it seems this view is not more justified. As a matter of fact, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
everything in the serious ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
, they will feel
extremely
heavy and uncomfortable. With them, most of the work will become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to carry
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
out and
they feel scary or worry when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face troubles.
Besides
that, if their mind may not
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "open"
opening
, it will have a huge impact on their health. According to the doctor, they always advise their patients to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their head in a state of relaxation.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
with the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
may contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
best things the
Possible spelling mistake found.
humanlife
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the opportunity to themselves and trying to look all parts by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinking
.
However
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case of natural life, they
also
need to learn how to look at the fact of matters and update for themselves the knowledge and experience to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the problems.
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IELTS essay Some people believe positive thinking has benefits, while others consider it has drawbacks.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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