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Modern era many school starts the new subject but also leave the sports and physical Education subjects due to the demand of new technology. It is good to add the new subject in studies, but sport is an important as new subject we discuss the importance of sports activities in further paragraphs.

Modern era many school starts the new subject but also leave the sports and physical Education subjects due to the demand of new technology. It is good to add the new subject in studies, but sport is an important as new subject we discuss the importance of sports activities in further paragraphs. xDaLa
In Modern era many school starts the new subject but also leave the sports and physical Education subjects due to the demand of new technology. It is good to add the new subject in studies, but sports is an important as new subject. we discuss the importance of sports activities in further paragraphs. Sports plan an vital role in every young person's education because we learn many skills from sports. In school time every student feel tired to study for 4 to 5 hours so sports period is a free mind activity for student and boast energy. They keep their mind on other things in physical education period like they play games do yoga and exercise etc and also gain knowledge about body maintainence and how to keep healthy while they play in a ground. They learn the competition spirit responsibility and become a good leader, but with good new subject only get the knowledge. So it's very important to have a physical education subject for all the students. Our education system add other activities only for small children not for younger students specially who studied in the college according to my view point physical education is an important as other subject so that students are away from all the health issues and keep healthy with playing games.
In Modern era
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many
school
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starts
the
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new
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subject
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but
also
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leave
the
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sports
and
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physical
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Education
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subjects
due to the demand of
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new
technology. It is
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good
to
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add
the
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new
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subject
in studies,
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but
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sports
is an
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important
as
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new
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subject
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
discuss the importance of
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sports
activities in
further
paragraphs.
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Sports
plan
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
vital role in every young person's
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education
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because
we learn
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many
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skills
from
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sports
. In school time every
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student
feel tired to study for 4 to 5 hours
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so
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sports
period is a free mind activity for
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student
and boast energy. They
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keep
their mind on other things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
period like they play games do yoga and exercise etc and
also
gain knowledge about body
Possible spelling mistake found.
maintainence
and how to
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keep
healthy while they play in a ground. They learn the competition spirit responsibility and become a
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good
leader,
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but
with
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good
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new
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subject
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only
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get
the knowledge.
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So
it's
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very
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important
to have a
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physical
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education
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subject
for all the
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students
. Our
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education
system
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add
other activities
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only
for
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small
children not for younger
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students
specially
who studied in the college according to my view point
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are away from all the health issues and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
healthy with playing games.

IELTS essay Modern era many school starts the new subject but also leave the sports and physical Education subjects due to the demand of new technology. It is good to add the new subject in studies, but sport is an important as new subject we discuss the importance of sports activities in further paragraphs.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
218 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Modern era many school starts the new subject but also leave the sports and physical Education subjects due to the demand of new technology. It is good to add the new subject in studies, but sport is an important as new subject we discuss the importance of sports activities in further paragraphs.