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Some people believe it is better to study at local universities while others believe it is more beneficial to study overseas. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe it is better to study at local universities while others believe it is more beneficial to study overseas. Discuss both views and give your opinion 2K9qw
It is believed by some that getting an education in one’s homeland brings numerous favorable conditions while others are of the belief that attending school overseas greatly has a betterment of future. From my perspective, I agree that it is better to be educated abroad. It is undeniable why some students advocate pursuing foreign education. The first rationale is that it could bring numerous opportunities for students to broaden their horizons. This is because they will have a chance to interact directly with other cultures and advanced technologies around the world, which helps them become more open-minded and enhance their expertise. Instead of studying at local college and accumulate knowledge through virtual courses which leads to take more time and money than that when studying abroad. Another reason is that students will have better career prospects. This is because employees with internationally recognized degrees could have more chances to be hired with the desirable salaries. It is also understandable why others support studying locally. One of the main reasons is that students do not have to experience culture shock. This could be because when they move to another country, they need the required knowledge to adapt to new living conditions and learning environments. As a result, their health could be affected due to the unbalanced living styles. By contrast, it is easier for those who pursue an education in their home countries with support from their families and friends. It is argued that college tuition fee is more affordable than that when studying abroad. Notwithstanding, my perspective is that it is as high as those in local universities. To illustrate, more and more universities in Vietnam tend to become financially autonomous schools which leads to an increase in tuition fees yearly. Moreover, it was not included the extra fee that students need to pay for their researches or internship. Therefore, families who wish the best conditions for their children will send them to get an education overseas. In conclusion, while some people approve of studying locally, I wholeheartedly believe that it is more beneficial to study overseas due to many benefits.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that getting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in one’s homeland brings numerous favorable conditions while others are of the belief that attending school overseas
greatly
has a betterment of future. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is better to
be educated
abroad.

It is undeniable why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
advocate pursuing foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The
first
rationale is that it could bring numerous opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to broaden their horizons. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will have a chance to interact
directly
with other cultures and advanced technologies around the world, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them become more open-minded and enhance their expertise.
Instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
at local college and accumulate knowledge through virtual courses which leads to take more time and money than that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad. Another reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have better career prospects. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
employees with
internationally
recognized degrees could have more chances to
be hired
with the desirable salaries.

It is
also
understandable why others support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
locally
. One of the main reasons is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
experience culture shock. This could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another country, they need the required knowledge to adapt to new living conditions and learning environments.
As a result
, their health could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to the unbalanced living styles. By contrast, it is easier for those who pursue an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in their home countries with support from their families and friends. It
is argued
that college tuition fee is more affordable than that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
abroad. Notwithstanding, my perspective is that it is as high as those in local universities. To illustrate, more and more universities in Vietnam tend to become
financially
autonomous schools which leads to an increase in tuition fees yearly.
Moreover
, it was not included the extra fee that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
need to pay for their researches or internship.
Therefore
, families who wish the best conditions for their children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
overseas.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
approve of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
locally
, I
wholeheartedly
believe that it is more beneficial to study overseas due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
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IELTS essay Some people believe it is better to study at local universities while others believe it is more beneficial to study overseas. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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