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Some people believe getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Other believe it would be best to go straight to work and achieve job experience

Some people believe getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Other believe it would be best to go straight to work and achieve job experience kYoN2
It is thought by a certain amount of people that a degree guarentees a good job, on the other hand theres people that think going straight to work teaches you more. In my opinion, if you adquired a solid academic background opportunities may flow easier. First of all, your academic preparation is the formula to understand the topic you wish to develop. Academic preparation it's a process that if you learn to manage it, result tend to be better than working without knowledge. For example, would you trust a guy that never wen't to Med-School and it's about to start your surgery; im sure it would be a no. So, thats why academic knowledge its greater than job experience. Secondly, profesionals that recieve the correct academic knowledge learn the problems and solutions for it. In other words, they have facility to learn and simplify processe's. For example, it is proven that people with university degree's have a higher job growth percantage than people with just the job experience. Therefore, academic knowledge has a higher impact than the job experience on labour force. They may exist disimilarity opinions between job experience and university degree. Having both opinions in common that depend's on the person desire to achieve it's goals. To conclude, in my opinion university degrees combined with job experience is more beneficial cause makes jobs easier and functionals.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by a certain amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that a degree
Possible spelling mistake found.
guarentees
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
on the other hand
Possible spelling mistake found
theres
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people
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
going straight to work teaches you more. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, if you
Possible spelling mistake found.
adquired
a solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
background opportunities may flow easier.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
preparation is the formula to understand the topic you wish to develop.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Academic
preparation it's a process that if you learn to manage it, result tend to be better than working without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
For example
, would you trust a guy that never
Did you mean "went", "won't"?
wen't
to Med-School and it's about to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
your surgery;
Possible spelling mistake found.
im
sure it would be a no.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
Possible spelling mistake found
thats
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
its greater than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
experience.

Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
profesionals
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
the correct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
learn the problems and solutions for it.
In other words
, they have facility to learn and simplify
Possible spelling mistake found.
processe
's.
For example
, it
is proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with university degree's have a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
growth
Possible spelling mistake found.
percantage
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
has a higher impact than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
on
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force.

They may exist
Possible spelling mistake found.
disimilarity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and university degree. Having both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
in common that
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "depends"?
depend's
on the person desire
Did you mean "to achieve its goals"?
to achieve it's goals
.

To conclude
, in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
university degrees combined with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is more beneficial cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
easier and
Possible spelling mistake found.
functionals
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job. Other believe it would be best to go straight to work and achieve job experience

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
228 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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