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some people believe Extreme Sports are dangerous others disagree. what is your opinion.

some people believe Extreme Sports are dangerous others disagree. what is your opinion. b8JQ
Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like to play these sports. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestion on how to deal with these dangers. Some sports are considered unsafe by a few people, but still many people partake in such sports. This essay will explain the two main reasons behind individuals joining these sports, the reasons are passion, money and recognition by the public; however there is always some risk involved as well. That is why, this essay will also explain how to minimize those risk by taking precautionary measures and implementation of strict laws that protect players from injuries. To begin with, there are many reasons why some individuals join dangerous sports. One of the main factors is that there is always a natural interest, and some passion involved that drive some people toward certain hobbies and games. Because of the urge and appeasement of soul, they put their lives in danger by playing dangerous sports. Another main reason is the lucrative awards and publicity which sportspersons enjoy when they risk their lives. The brands are always looking for such risk takers to promote their products, since money and publicity is involved people take on such venture. For instance, when asked by the BBC reporter to Mount Everest’s climber why did he puts his life in danger, he replied that it was mainly due to his passion and he wanted people to remember his name. Had it not been for the recognition, he would not have put his life in danger. Provided that there is no shortage of risk-takers in this world, there are some ways to protect people from accidents. The main step that can be taken is to provide sportsmen proper gears before they participate in extreme sports. The personal protective equipment of high quality need to be provided by the game’s organizer or brands. Furthermore, the government should implement these rules rather than banning these games as a safety precaution. If the authorities implement stringent rules as mentioned, these sports will become safer for the people. In conclusion, although people participate and take interest in life-threatening sports, the proper gears and safety measures need to be followed and enforced in a true spirit.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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sports
are
extremely
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dangerous
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but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
still
like to play these
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sports
. Why do
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
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dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
? Give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestion on how to deal with these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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sports
are considered
unsafe by a few
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people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
partake in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the two
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main
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reasons
behind individuals joining these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, the
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reasons
are passion, money and recognition by the public;
however
there is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
involved
as well
.
That is
why, this essay will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how to minimize those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
by taking precautionary measures and implementation of strict laws that protect players from injuries.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. One of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
factors is that there is always a natural interest, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
passion involved that drive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
toward certain hobbies and games.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the urge and appeasement of soul, they put their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
by playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the lucrative awards and publicity which
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportspersons
enjoy when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. The brands are always looking for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
takers to promote their products, since money and publicity
is involved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take on such venture.
For instance
, when asked by the BBC reporter to Mount Everest’s climber why did he puts his life in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
, he replied that it was
mainly
due to his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
passion and
he wanted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remember his name. Had it not been for the recognition, he would not have put his life in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

Provided that there is no shortage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
-takers in this world, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from accidents. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
main
step that can
be taken
is to provide sportsmen proper gears
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they participate in extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The personal protective equipment of high quality need to
be provided
by the game’s organizer or brands.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
rather
than banning these games as a safety precaution. If the authorities implement stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
as mentioned, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will become safer for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
participate and take interest in life-threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, the proper gears and safety measures need to
be followed
and enforced in a true spirit.
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IELTS essay some people believe Extreme Sports are dangerous others disagree. what is your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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