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Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themselves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What's your opinion? Use specific reasons to support your answer

Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themselves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What's your opinion? Use specific reasons to support your answer B75Wm
In many countries, laws are quite flexible to let ordinary individuals carry firearms while in many other countries it is quite hard to get a license, even for a notable person, to own a gun. It is often said that when a state or country allows its citizens to carry weapons, the crime and violence rates increase there and I quite agree with this statement. First, guns are meant to shot someone either to wound or kill him. Thus the very objective of a gun is to kill a person and thus this deathly weapon can only increase the crime and violence in a society. To understand how the mass ownership of guns can increase the violence in a country we can compare a country like the USA, where carrying a gun is allowed, with a country like Japan, where it is restricted. Second, research indicates that owning and carrying a gun can psychologically affect our behaviours and thus people often commit crimes only because they have guns with them, especially where people can carry guns with them, and the only way to reduce such crime rate is to restrict the ownership of guns. In conclusion, the only reason the authority would permit someone to carry a gun is to ensure the safety of this person. However, the reality is quite contrary and allowing people to carry guns is actually letting criminals also won it, it would significantly decrease the crime and violence.
In
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many
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countries
, laws are
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quite
flexible to
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let
ordinary individuals
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carry
firearms while in
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many
other
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countries
it is
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quite
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hard
to
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get
a license, even for a notable person, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
a
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gun
. It is
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often
said that when a state or
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country
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allows
its citizens to
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carry
weapons, the
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crime
and
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violence
rates increase there and I
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quite
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agree
with this statement.
First
,
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guns
are meant
to shot someone either to wound or kill him.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
the
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very
objective of a
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gun
is to kill a person and
thus
this deathly weapon can
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only
increase the
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crime
and
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violence
in a society. To understand how the mass ownership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
can increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
in a
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country
we can compare a
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country
like the USA, where carrying a
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gun
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
, with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like Japan, where it
is restricted
. Second, research indicates that owning and carrying a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
can
psychologically
affect our
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and
thus
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people
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often
commit
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crimes
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only
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because
they have
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guns
with them,
especially
where
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people
can
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carry
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guns
with them, and the
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only
way to
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reduce
such
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crime
rate is to restrict the ownership of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
.
In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
reason the authority would permit someone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carry
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gun
is to ensure the safety of this person.
However
, the reality is
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quite
contrary and allowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
carry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guns
is actually letting criminals
also
won it, it would
significantly
decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
.
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IELTS essay Some people believe citizens should be allowed to carry handguns in order to protect themselves, while others think this can lead to many social security problems in the society. What's your opinion? Use specific reasons to support your answer

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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