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Some people believe arts subjects such as literature and music have little importance in schools today. To what extent do you agree with this?

Some people believe arts subjects such as literature and music have little importance in schools today. m1X71
Music theory and art subjects are always the most fun and entertaining part of school however, a plethora of people believe that in recent times it is losing its significance. This essay will discuss why literature and orchestra have lost their special status in educational society. Firstly, music and art as a career option has a less preferable choice in parents eyes since it doesn't generate monetary value if you are mediocre or not at a superior level. Secondly, school curriculum leads pupil to their higher studies and occupational decisions hence, institutions want to teach high-value subjects such as physics, maths, science and even sports which divert adolescent towards high pay salaries. For example, A guitarist gets less wage than a accountant or a cashier even though working hours are the same. The pay package attracts most of the students therefore, the schools are bound to emphasize more on prestigious career options rather than on fun activities. On the other hand, several schools lack adequate aid for music instruments and art gallery equipment from the government. Since the budget for schools gets divided into cleaning/science labs/sports activities at last music gets peanuts in amount. Due to the famine of professionals and instruments many schools do not even add music in the curriculum. To illustrate, In India 80% of the secondary educational bodies do not have appropriate fund to support the subject. Financial aid provided by the government is more focused on science laboratories rather than on music instruments which decrease the importance of music based programs. To conclude, pupils interest in the specific module should be focused on future rather than the prestige of the person. Teenagers should be encouraged to participate in art programs so they can develop artistic and creative minds. The legislative teaching authorities should also provide financial support to schools so they can introduce music as the main subject rather than entertaining and relaxing activity.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
theory and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are always the most fun and entertaining part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
however
, a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that in recent times it is losing its significance. This essay will discuss why literature and orchestra have lost their special status in educational society.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
as a career option has a less preferable choice in parents eyes since it doesn't generate monetary value if you are mediocre or not at a superior level.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum leads pupil to their higher studies and occupational decisions
hence
, institutions want to teach high-value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as physics,
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, science and even sports which divert adolescent towards high pay salaries.
For example
, A guitarist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
less wage than
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
accountant or a cashier
even though
working hours are the same. The pay package attracts most of the students
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are bound
to emphasize more on prestigious career options
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than on fun activities.

On the other hand
, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
lack adequate aid for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instruments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
gallery equipment from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. Since the budget for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
divided into cleaning/science labs/sports activities at last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
peanuts in amount. Due to the famine of professionals and instruments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
do not even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in the curriculum. To illustrate, In India 80% of the secondary educational bodies do not have appropriate fund to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. Financial aid provided by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is more focused on science laboratories
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
instruments which decrease the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
based programs.

To conclude
, pupils interest in the specific module should
be focused
on future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than the prestige of the person.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
should
be encouraged
to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can develop artistic and creative minds. The legislative teaching authorities should
also
provide financial support to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can introduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than entertaining and relaxing activity.
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IELTS essay Some people believe arts subjects such as literature and music have little importance in schools today.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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