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Some People Believe A Country Can Benefit A Lot From University Education

Some People Believe A Country Can Benefit A Lot From University Education Y2Gl5
When it comes to the issue about how to judge the influence of higher education, some people argue that tertiary education does bring benefits to the society, but others believe that it is detrimental and even increases the unemployment rate. In my opinion, higher education will bring a lot of benefits to a country if universities provide job-oriented learning. On the one hand, higher education can produce more students with skills and knowledge contributing to the development of countries. It is widely acknowledged that universities can provide students with more specialized knowledge in different domains according to their own career interests. Those students, after graduating from universities, may be recruited by excellent enterprises due to their qualified educational backgrounds. Therefore, they can better utilize their talent and potential to make more innovations and technological progress, which really benefit countries a lot. On the other hand, it cannot be ignored that many graduates are trapped in a situation where they cannot secure employment when they finish their academic programs. Sometimes, when students are too engaged in studying at university, they neglect some practical skills. For example, some students who perform so well academically may not be proficient in business communication. Consequently, they cannot impress potential employers when hunting for a job. Thus, it is also understandable that some employers reject so-called elites from universities since they do not know some basic skills required at the workplace such as effective communication skills. In addition, many fresh graduates have minimum knowledge about the field so they often require time to learn about the industry. In my opinion, universities should provide more practical opportunities for students. For instance, during the academic program, schools should offer students the chances of visiting enterprises and positions of internship, which allow students to better polish their resumes. As a result, they will adapt to the workplace and secure a job. Consequently, they will not become a burden for the country. In conclusion, the society should encourage more students to go to universities for higher education so that they can contribute to countries with their knowledge acquired from universities; meanwhile, in order to reduce the unemployment rate, universities should take the initiative to prepare students with applicable field practice in the industry.
When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the issue about how to judge the influence of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
does bring benefits to the society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others believe that it is detrimental and even increases the unemployment rate. In my opinion, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
provide job-oriented learning.

On the one hand, higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
can produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
contributing to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is
widely
acknowledged that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with more specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
domains according to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career interests. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, after graduating from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, may
be recruited
by excellent enterprises due to their qualified educational backgrounds.
Therefore
, they can better utilize their talent and potential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more innovations and technological progress, which
really
benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
a lot.

On the other hand
, it cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
graduates
are trapped
in a situation where they cannot secure employment when they finish their academic programs.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are too engaged in studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, they neglect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who perform
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
well
academically
may not be proficient in business communication.
Consequently
, they cannot impress potential employers when hunting for a job.
Thus
, it is
also
understandable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
employers reject
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called elites from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
since they do not know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
required at the workplace such as effective communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fresh graduates have minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about the field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
require time to learn about the industry. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should provide more practical opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
, during the academic program, schools should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
the chances of visiting enterprises and positions of internship, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to better polish their resumes.
As a result
, they will adapt to the workplace and secure a job.
Consequently
, they will not become a burden for the country.

In conclusion
, the society should encourage more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
acquired from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
; meanwhile, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should take the initiative to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with applicable field practice in the industry.
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IELTS essay Some People Believe A Country Can Benefit A Lot From University Education

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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