Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies

Some people argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies 2bbA6
People argued that video games are a waste of time and. However, they believe that people should spend their free time and money on other hobbies. Playing video games is extremely popular especially among the young generation. Young people are addicted to video games, and they can’t live one day without playing on their PlayStation. It is a benefit to have a relaxation and to do what you like, it can be a bad habit. For example, playing video games can help you for acquisition of new skills like learning a foreign language due to the fact most of the games are created in other countries and you can learn new vocabulary. Another reason is that when you have fun, you can develop quick reactions. Third reason is you can interact with others if you are in a team and meet new virtual friends. On the other hand, if you play all day video games you sit on a chair and you do not have physical activity and that is not best for you well-being. Better hobby would be riding a bike, it provides to you fresh air and is good to spend your energy somewhere in the nature. For instance, you can relax and develop your muscles. Firstly, you can stay fit whereas staying home and playing video games can make you obesity. Secondly, you can learn better co-ordination and your immune system would be better. The final reason is you move your body. To sum up, the two benefits can give adequate effects and have advantages on the contrary obviously it would be better if your hobby is riding a bike or doing another sport. In my experience, riding a bike is better solution due to the fact it has more advantages and it is good for your health and when you feel good you can do everything what you want, and I am of the opinion that it better if you go to the park in sunny day than staying home.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are a waste of time and.
However
, they believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should spend their free time and money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hobbies.

Playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
extremely
popular
especially
among the young generation. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, and they can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
one day without playing on their PlayStation. It is a benefit to have a relaxation and to do what you like, it can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habit.
For example
, playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you for acquisition of new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like learning a foreign language due to the fact most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are created
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries and you can learn new vocabulary. Another reason is that when you have fun, you can develop quick reactions. Third reason is you can interact with others if you are in a team and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new virtual friends.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, if you play all day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
you sit on a chair and you do not have physical activity and
that is
not best for you well-being.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Better
hobby would be riding a bike, it provides to you fresh air and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to spend your energy somewhere in the nature.
For instance
, you can relax and develop your muscles.
Firstly
, you can stay fit whereas staying home and playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you obesity.
Secondly
, you can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
co-ordination and your immune system would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. The final reason is you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
your body.

To sum up, the two benefits can give adequate effects and have advantages
on the contrary
obviously
it would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
if your hobby is riding a bike or doing another sport. In my experience, riding a bike is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
solution due to the fact it has more advantages and it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for your health and when you feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
you can do everything what you want, and I am of the opinion that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
if you go to the park in sunny day than staying home.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people argued that video games are a waste of time, and people should spend their time and money on better hobbies