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Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. Do you agree or disagree?

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education. QLLb9
Decreasing the crime rate is one of the most difficult challenge for all government and security organizations across the globe. A plethora of people believe putting offenders behind the bars is the best approach to reduce the crime rates on the contrary I disagree with this idea and in my point of view educating everyone is the best approach to decrease the crime rate. I know this is a debatable topic and I will explain why I reach to this conclusion in the following essay. Everyone wishes to stay in a peaceful and secure society and education plays a tremendous role to achieve this. Majority of the education curriculums are developed to increase values like moral, importance about following the law, social and cultural values in addition to academic progress. Once someone learns these values during the school days these philosophies will engrave in to scholar’s brain, and they will utilize these values in rest of their life. One of the recent research results from UNICEF is underlining these facts because as per their assessment report crime rate is extremely low in educated societies. Another crucial point to consider is the atmosphere in prison and its negative influence in prisoners. Several offenders sentenced to jail return as cruel criminals because they are influenced and inspired by born criminals living behind the bars. Numerous people stayed in jail acquire new ideas to execute crime in secure and much efficient way from their jail colleagues. Additionally, they receive an opportunity to build new friend’s circle inside the prison and eventually these groups may convert in to organized criminal gangs. Based on the facts I furnished above, I strongly believe to providing better education will definitely reduce the crime rate rather than sending people to jail for small offenses. At the same time, I support harsh jail punishment for cruel law braking like murder, rape, etc.
Decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is one of the most difficult challenge for all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and security organizations across the globe. A plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe putting offenders behind the bars is the best approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
on the contrary
I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and in my point of view educating everyone is the best approach to decrease the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
. I know this is a debatable topic and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I reach to this conclusion in the following essay.

Everyone wishes to stay in a peaceful and secure society and education plays a tremendous role to achieve this. Majority of the education curriculums
are developed
to increase values like moral, importance about following the law, social and cultural values
in addition
to academic progress. Once someone learns these values during the school days these philosophies will engrave in to scholar’s brain, and they will utilize these values in rest of their life. One of the recent research results from UNICEF is underlining these facts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
as per their assessment report
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is
extremely
low in educated societies.

Another crucial point to consider is the atmosphere in prison and its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence in prisoners. Several offenders sentenced to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
return as cruel criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are influenced
and inspired by born criminals living behind the bars. Numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
stayed in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
acquire new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to execute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in secure and much efficient way from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
colleagues.
Additionally
, they receive an opportunity to build new friend’s circle inside the prison and
eventually
these groups may convert in to organized criminal gangs.

Based on the facts I furnished above, I
strongly
The usual collocation for "believe" is "in" not "to". Did you mean "believe in"?
believe to
providing better education will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
rather
than sending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
offenses. At the same time, I support harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jail
punishment for cruel law braking like murder, rape, etc.
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IELTS essay Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people with a better education.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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