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Some People argued that Parents should allow their children to take their own decisions. Do you agree or disagree

Some People argued that Parents should allow their children to take their own decisions. gqBQD
It is often argued by some that children should take their decisions their own and Parents must give permission them. Although some might Disagree with that statement, But I completely agree with that argue. Not only because taking decisions should make children confident and also independent, But not only because it can be make them to take decisions in Hardship. Firstly, children will be able to make decisions in their hard time if they start making decisions early on. As, when children will start making decisions. They can be mentally strong and Face hardship in their life easily. Take an example of Emma Watson she is leading Bollywood star in her resent interview. Which she gave to BBC News in that interview she told when she was child she was used to took her own decisions. After, When she became Young she faced Hard time in her life. It was easy for her to took decisions their own. Thus, children should allow to make their own decisions and it will be benefit for their Future Secondly, taking Children own decisions can make them confident. As children will be very clear with their ideas and it will be help them to take Good decisions quickly. For instance, through the resent report of United Nation in America there children are very cleaver with their point of view. And they do not get scared while taking decisions. Because of their parents allow in their childhood to take decisions. Hence, children should take their decisions to make their self-confident. Finely, children will he independent if they allow to make their decisions. As they will become very strong and also take their decisions Alone. To sum up. I believe that children should make their decisions own. Not only because they will get confident and independent. But also they will become mentally strong to face their life hardships and take decisions easily.
It is
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often
argued by
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some
that
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children
should take their
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decisions
their
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own
and Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give permission them. Although
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some
might Disagree with that statement,
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But
I completely
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agree
with that argue. Not
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only
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because
taking
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decisions
should
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make
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children
confident and
also
independent,
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But
not
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only
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because
it can be
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make
them to take
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decisions
in Hardship.

Firstly
,
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children
will be able to
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make
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decisions
in their
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hard
time if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making
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decisions
early on. As, when
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children
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. They can be mentally strong and Face hardship in their life
easily
. Take an example of Emma Watson she is leading Bollywood star in her resent interview. Which she gave to BBC News in that interview she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
when she was child she was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to took her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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decisions
. After, When she became Young she faced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Hard
time in her life. It was easy for her to took
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decisions
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
Thus
,
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children
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
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make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
and it will be benefit for their Future

Secondly
, taking
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Children
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own
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decisions
can
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make
them confident. As
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children
will be
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very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and it will be
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help
them to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
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decisions
quickly
.
For instance
, through the resent report of United Nation in America there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
cleaver with their point of view. And they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scared while taking
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decisions
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of their parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
in their childhood to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
.
Hence
,
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children
should take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their self-confident.

Finely
,
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children
will
It seems that a verb is missing after "he". Please verify.
he
independent if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
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make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
. As they will become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
strong and
also
take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
Alone.

To sum up. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
confident and independent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
also
they will become mentally strong to face their life hardships and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
easily
.
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IELTS essay Some People argued that Parents should allow their children to take their own decisions.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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