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Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres and sport stadiums. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres and sport stadiums. oAbV
It is sometimes being argued that expenditure of money over theatres and sports complexes is not necessarily required, but instead government should spend more money for improvement of health services and education. In my opinion, government should distribute the budget over both categories of services. On one hand, both health care services and educational services are most crucial to the raise the socio-economic status of a country. Improvement in the medical facilities of a country means improving the health of nation’s people. Health people will contribute to more efficient and active human resources that would ultimately enhance the economy of that nation. In a similar way, enhancement in educational services would generate more literate people in the country. Higher literacy of a nation makes its society strong as well the people’s standard of living is also raised. On the other hand, theatres and sports complexes plays an important role in entertainment of people. Theatrical shows and sports tournament are among the popular leisure activities in any nation. For example, after a hectic schedule, everyone needs something for their entertainment, that could refresh their mind and make them feel energetic giving them a sense of pleasure and relaxation. Thus, government should spend a reasonable revenue for the betterment of entertainment and sports activities. To conclude, although healthcare and education services are the topmost priorities of a nation, but entertainment activities has also become an essential part in people’s lives. So, government should precisely decide the budget for expenditure of money on both classes of services.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
being argued
that expenditure of money over
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
complexes is not
necessarily
required,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more money for improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and education. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should distribute the budget over both categories of services.

On one hand, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are most crucial to the raise the
Possible spelling mistake found.
socio-economic
status of a country. Improvement in the medical facilities of a country means improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will contribute to more efficient and active human resources that would
ultimately
enhance the economy of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
Consider replacing "In a similar way" with the adverb for "similar"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
In a similar way
, enhancement in educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
would generate more literate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the country. Higher literacy of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
its society strong
as well
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
standard of living is
also
raised.

On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
complexes plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in entertainment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Theatrical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
tournament are among the popular leisure activities in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
.
For example
, after a hectic schedule, everyone needs something for their entertainment, that could refresh their mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel energetic giving them a sense of pleasure and relaxation.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend a reasonable revenue for the betterment of entertainment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities.

To conclude
, although healthcare and education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are the topmost priorities of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
entertainment activities has
also
become an essential part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
precisely
decide the budget for expenditure of money on both classes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that the government should spend money only on medical care and education but not on theatres and sport stadiums.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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