Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People believe that government should make sure that every unemployed person should have a mobile phone and internet access as it uses public money in a best way to reduce unemployment. In this essay I will discuss some points agreeing to the statement. Providing mobile and internet access to unemployed people will have many negative consequences as people can misuse this facility. Firstly, People might spend whole day talking and chatting on phone like it is a trend in youth these days. Secondly, Social media is one of the popular use of mobile and internet that even distract many employed workers during duty hours. For example: Many videos get viral where private or government employees are playing games and using social media on their phone instead of completing their work. One of the problem to be considered is that there will be no proper check on workers. They can engage in many unappropriated and harmful activities that will not only be a harm to self but also the society. On the other hand, when we look at the benefits, this can be the first and huge step towards development of country. Unemployment is one of the crucial problems in our country these days. Many of these people sitting at home have talent and education but they lack a platform to work. Young people even commit suicide due to unemployment. Providing them with mobile and internet and let them work online from home will not only engage these people but also our online market will grow and we can compete with west and rest of the world. For example: Mark Zuckerberg started working from home and with his talent he invented Facebook. In conclusion, the benefits of proving cell phone and internet to unemployed persons far outweigh the consequences. I think government should give a chance with proper control to the people who have potential in them and are unemployed.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
person should have a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and internet access as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
public money in a best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment. In this essay I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
points agreeing to the statement.

Providing mobile and internet access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can misuse this facility.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
might spend whole day talking and chatting on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
like it is a trend in youth these days.
Secondly
, Social media is one of the popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile and internet that even distract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employed workers during duty hours.
For example
:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
videos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
viral where private or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
employees are playing games and using social media on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
instead
of completing their work. One of the problem to
be considered
is that there will be no proper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on workers. They can engage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unappropriated and harmful activities that will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be a harm to self
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society.

On the other hand
, when we look at the benefits, this can be the
first
and huge step towards development of country. Unemployment is one of the crucial problems in our country these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sitting at home have talent and education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they lack a platform to work. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even commit suicide due to unemployment. Providing them with mobile and internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them work online from home will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
engage these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
our online market will grow and we can compete with west and rest of the world.
For example
: Mark Zuckerberg
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
working from home and with his talent he invented Facebook.

In conclusion
, the benefits of proving cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
and internet to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
persons far outweigh the consequences. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should give a chance with proper control to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have potential in them and are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unemployed
.

IELTS essay Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people argue that the government should give every unemployed person a mobile phone and should make sure they have access to the Internet. They believe this is the best way of using public money to reduce the problem of unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?