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Some people argue that the fittest,strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports.Do you agree or disagree.

Some people argue that the fittest, strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports. m3O8L
A lot of individuals assert that sporting victory is only for the fittest and strongest individuals and teams can attain the greatest triumph in the sports. However, I completely agree with the given statement. In the upcoming paragraphs my following viewpoints will highlight which is related to the given notion. To begin with, It is often to say in the sport, most of the teams are vigorous and well build members is more likely to successful. Firstly, it is because of athletes gain so much strength during the long hours of physical intensive training, which made their body work at maximum capacity. For example, most of the football players spent a lot of time in the gym to have the physical condition. Such as, muscular strength and endurance. Therefore, they can maintain their strongest physique in the pitch during the match. Secondly, their will be unity among the team members there will be no discrimination during the discussion while taking the other opinions. For example, if one player wants to discuss with their own teammates so they can help in any way. Whereas if certain problem will a rise during the match then it will be easily to be resolve by the one team member. Therefore, it will help to increase their cognitive ability while they are having the plannings for the match. Furthermore, while planning the layout of the team in order to achieve the success in the sports. In addition to, motivation and concentration as well as emotional control which plays a very vital role during the performance especially in sports. For instance, most of the athletes have the experience of ups and down wins and losses during the match whereas most of the players stick to one particular focus so they can maintain their challenge towards their victory so they can beat the other opponent. Moreover, in the cricket game teamwork is essential where one team leader decide the whole field which can be best of the other members. For instance, if there is match of cricket between two teams which is the strongest and weakest so in that case there should require proper communication among the each individual. Therefore, in this way it will impact on the team performance as well as, the chance of team winning the team would increase all of the sudden. To conclude, there should be proper unity and communication where every player can discuss their own views with everyone. Also it is the true statement which is mentioned above.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
individuals assert that sporting victory is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the fittest and strongest individuals and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
can attain the greatest triumph in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
However
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement. In the upcoming paragraphs my following viewpoints will highlight which
is related
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to say in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
are vigorous and well build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
is more likely to successful.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of athletes gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much strength during the long hours of physical intensive training, which made their body work at maximum capacity.
For example
, most of the football
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time in the gym to have the physical condition. Such as, muscular strength and endurance.
Therefore
, they can maintain their strongest physique in the pitch during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
.
Secondly
, their will be unity among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
there will be no discrimination during the discussion while taking the other opinions.
For example
, if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
wants to discuss with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
teammates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in any way.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
if certain problem will a rise during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
then it will be
easily
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "resolved".
resolve
by the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
.
Therefore
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to increase their cognitive ability while they are having the plannings for the match.

Furthermore
, while planning the layout of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
in order to achieve the success in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
In addition
to, motivation and concentration
as well
as emotional control which plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
vital role during the performance
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For instance
, most of the athletes have the experience of ups and down wins and losses during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
whereas most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
stick to one particular focus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can maintain their challenge towards their victory
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can beat the other opponent.
Moreover
, in the cricket game teamwork is essential where one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
leader decide the whole field which can be best of the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
.
For instance
, if there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
of cricket between two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
which is the strongest and weakest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in that case
there should require proper communication among
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "each" is left.
the each
individual.
Therefore
, in this way it will impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
performance
as well
as, the chance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
winning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
would increase
This phrase is nonstandard. Did you mean "all of a sudden"?
all of the sudden
.

To conclude
, there should be proper unity and communication where every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
can discuss their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views with everyone.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is the true statement which
is mentioned
above.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that the fittest, strongest individuals and teams can achieve the greatest success in sports.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
418 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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