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Some people argue that physical education is best way to train students, while some believe studying arts will help more. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people argue that physical education is best way to train students, while some believe studying arts will help more. oR5Xg
It is argued by some educators that physical education is a key to train the mind and body of students, while others believe that encouraging art classes are more helpful for students. From my perspective, physical education is efficient in maintaining the fitness of students while arts aid students’ mental wellness by providing chances to express thoughts freely. As the name goes, physical education trains students in a physical way. By moving bodies and exercising together, students can relieve stress and build stamina in daily basis. For example, playing competitive sports in class is not only entertaining, but also make people move around for continued time. This will help students in many way.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
educators that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education is a key to train the mind and body of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, while others believe that encouraging art classes are more helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. From my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education is efficient in maintaining the fitness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
while arts aid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
mental wellness by providing chances to express thoughts
freely
.

As the name goes,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
education trains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
way. By moving bodies and exercising together,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and build stamina in daily basis.
For example
, playing competitive sports in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
entertaining,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around for continued time. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
Possible agreement error. The noun way seems to be countable; consider using: "many ways".
many way
.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that physical education is best way to train students, while some believe studying arts will help more.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
113 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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