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It is argued that arts are just as valid as any other subjects for primary school children. This essay agrees with the statement and explains about the flourish of students who study arts in their childhood along with their academics.

It is argued that arts are just as valid as any other subjects for primary school children. This essay agrees with the statement and explains about the flourish of students who study arts in their childhood along with their academics. 7a063
Not everyone has a talent in curriculum, some are best in arts such as music and drama. It is adult's duty to discover those skills and cherish it. If the primary schools have maths and physics alone as a subject, it will affect the mentality of children who are latebloomers. Most of the school students commit suicide due to the misjudgement in their very own ability. But, it can be controlled by showing more options in their early schooling which helps in building their confidence to pursue a dream. Making arts as a subject helps students to utilize their full potential in their expertise other than academic credentials. This encourages them to showcase their uniqueness to the world and gain fortune through it. For example, MGR is a popular actor with millions of fans but he was illiterate. From this, we can infer that success can be reached even without education. Hence, it is indispensable to make arts as a subject for pupils at their childhood to encourage kids, having creativity. Despite being maestro in arts, one should learn the basic education to survive in this world. It is also concerned that inclusion of arts might affect the regular classes, but it can not be neglected. So, equal importance should be given to all the subjects from the start.
Not everyone has a talent in curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are

best in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
such as music and drama. It is adult's

duty to discover those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and cherish it. If the

primary schools have
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and physics alone as a

subject, it will affect the mentality of children who

are
Possible spelling mistake found.
latebloomers
. Most of the school students commit

suicide due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
misjudgement
in their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own


ability.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it can
be controlled
by showing more

options in their early schooling which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building

their confidence to pursue a dream.

Making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
as a subject
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students to utilize

their full potential in their expertise other than

academic credentials. This encourages them to

showcase their uniqueness to the world and gain

fortune through it.
For example
, MGR is a popular

actor with millions of fans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he was illiterate. From

this, we can infer that success can
be reached
even

without education.
Hence
, it is indispensable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make


arts as a subject for pupils at their childhood to

encourage kids, having creativity.

Despite being maestro in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, one should learn the

basic education to survive in this world. It is
also


concerned that inclusion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
might affect the

regular classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can not
be neglected
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, equal

importance should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to all the subjects from

the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.
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IELTS essay It is argued that arts are just as valid as any other subjects for primary school children. This essay agrees with the statement and explains about the flourish of students who study arts in their childhood along with their academics.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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