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Children today are under increased educational, social and commercial pressures. What are the causes and solutions?

Children today are under increased educational, social and commercial pressures. What are the causes and solutions? kYLdM
It has been observed that there is an immense amount of pressure on children from various factors like education, social and commercial. This essay will discuss the reasons for this development which include expectations set by parents and ever-growing competition among children in society. It will also suggest solutions that could help to overcome this issue. There are majorly two reasons for this problem. One of them is the expectations set by parents for their child which may be difficult for him to achieve. For instance, if a father wants their son to become a doctor, then the son will be under a pressure to become a doctor even if he does not have the calibre for it. Another is that a family wants to maintain its reputation in society so they teach their children how to behave in society. This creates stress on adolescent to behave well in society and follow what their parents are teaching. Thus it can be said that, nowadays, young adults are facing a stressful situation. In order to tackle this concern, there could be two possible solutions. Firstly, guardians should play a friendly role in their offspring’s life so that they do not feel pressurised in any circumstances, due to this they can freely share their problems with their parents and do not feel stressed out. In other words, this will reduce a lot of burden on a child’s mind to face society. For example, when a child gets fewer marks in academic and if he is able to share this with his parents without hesitating of circumstances then this can reduce pressure from a child’s mind. Secondly, guardians should give leverage to their children to choose the profession of their interest rather than pressurising them for a career in which they are not interested. Therefore by implementing the above-suggested solutions children will be less burdened. To conclude, nowadays, young people are facing too much pressure from their parents and society because of expectations set by them. However, such an issue can be controlled if parents treat their child in a right way and help them grow in their life by showing the right path to success.
It has
been observed
that there is an immense amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from various factors like education, social and commercial. This essay will discuss the reasons for this development which include expectations set by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and ever-growing competition among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. It will
also
suggest solutions that could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to overcome this issue.

There are
majorly
two reasons for this problem. One of them is the expectations set by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
which may be difficult for him to achieve.
For instance
, if a father wants their son to become a doctor, then the son will be under a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
to become a doctor even if he does not have the
Possible spelling mistake. 'calibre' is British English.
calibre
for it. Another is that a family wants to maintain its reputation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to behave in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. This creates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on adolescent to behave well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and follow what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are teaching.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
it can
be said
that, nowadays, young adults are facing a stressful situation.

In order to tackle this concern, there could be two possible solutions.
Firstly
, guardians should play a friendly role in their offspring’s life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not feel
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurised' is British English.
pressurised
in any circumstances, due to this they can
freely
share their problems with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and do not feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
out.
In other words
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
burden on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mind to face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
fewer marks in academic and if he is able to share this with his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
without hesitating of circumstances then this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
mind.
Secondly
, guardians should give leverage to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose the profession of their interest
rather
than
Possible spelling mistake. 'pressurising' is British English.
pressurising
them for a career in which they are not interested.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
by implementing the above-suggested solutions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be less burdened.

To conclude
, nowadays, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are facing too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of expectations set by them.
However
, such an issue can
be controlled
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
treat their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
Consider replacing "in a right way" with the adverb for "right"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a right way
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them grow in their life by showing the right path to success.
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IELTS essay Children today are under increased educational, social and commercial pressures. What are the causes and solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
363 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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