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Some People Argue That Job Satisfaction Is More Important Than Job Security

In today’s world we have experienced instability in the job market due to numerous unprecedented factors such as emerging pandemics, migration and environmental crises. While some people believe that having a secure job is a necessity for survival, I agree with those who see that working in our preferred field is have numerous benefits. In this essay, I will examine aspects of employment. To begin, doing a desired job generates many benefits. First of all, it could create more productivity. For instance, a recent study by the International Labor Organization suggested that people who work in their area of expertise have a higher possibility of achieving their long-term project, because they always enhance skills relating to the field that they are interested in which is required for completing difficult tasks. Second, people who are satisfied with their job are more likely to have better mental health. In other words, although the task at hand is so exhausting, they will try to see this as something that is challenging and exciting. My experience is a nice of example of this. While I was working as an international economic lawyer, I had to deal with a pile of legal documents. With the positive attitude towards my job, I could manage to finish every project in an efficient manner. However, it is undeniable that today’s world economy makes it difficult for people to work in their satisfactory field due to many factors. Firstly, many employers prefer graduates from the business field to those being trained in the fields like the humanities and arts. This is due to the fact that they think business students have practical management skills that are suitable for the business world. Second, the emergence of artificial intelligence technology has shaped the global landscape, making IT jobs more crucial than other non-technical jobs. For instance, one of my high school friend who was trained in the field of political field is struggling to find a good job since he lacks information technology skills. All in All, it could be concluded that working in the field that make you feel happy have more advantages despite the fact that it seems to be risky. If we do everything in which are absolutely interested, we could do it in the most efficient manner and then our job will be more secure.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world we have experienced instability in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market due to numerous unprecedented factors such as emerging pandemics, migration and environmental crises. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that having a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a necessity for survival, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that working in our preferred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is have numerous benefits. In this essay, I will examine aspects of employment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, doing a desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
generates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it could create more productivity.
For instance
, a recent study by the International Labor Organization suggested that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work in their area of expertise have a higher possibility of achieving their long-term project,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always enhance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
relating to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
that they
are interested
in which
is required
for completing difficult tasks. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are satisfied
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are more likely to have better mental health.
In other words
, although the task at hand is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
exhausting, they will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this as something
that is
challenging and exciting. My experience is
The phrase 'a nice of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a nice of
example of this. While I was working as an international economic lawyer, I had to deal with a pile of legal documents. With the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude towards my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, I could manage to finish every project
Consider replacing "in an efficient manner" with the adverb for "efficient"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an efficient manner
.

However
, it is undeniable that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world economy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work in their satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers prefer graduates from the business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
to those
being trained
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fields
like the humanities and arts.
This is due to the fact that
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
business students have practical management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that are suitable for the business world. Second, the emergence of artificial intelligence technology has shaped the global landscape, making IT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
more crucial than other non-technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
For instance
, one of my high school friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was trained
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
of political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is struggling to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
since he lacks information technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

All in All, it could
be concluded
that working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you feel happy have more advantages despite the fact that it seems to be risky. If we do everything in which are
absolutely
interested, we could do it in the most efficient manner and then our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will be more secure.
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IELTS essay Some People Argue That Job Satisfaction Is More Important Than Job Security

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
388 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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