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Some people argue that governments should spend money only on medicine and those things like theaters and sports stadiums are luxurious. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that governments should spend money only on medicine and those things like theaters and sports stadiums are luxurious. R5b3Y
Contemporary days are witnessing an extreme popularity of entertainment fields such as cinema and sports owing to which certain masses contend that money should be diverted towards education and medicine since they believe, former categories are luxurious; however, later ones are basic necessities. I am of the opinion that the lion’s share of budget ought to be transferred towards medical sciences and education. To begin with, undoubtedly, theatre and sports play a vital role in each and every nation since these aspects are meant for entertainment which is necessary to attain rejuvenation. In sports, on can also mushroom career and moreover, people can stay away from stress, anxiety and depression by going to cinema. But, in education and medicine, still a number of developing as well as third-developed nations are lagging behind. For instance, despite complete ban on child labour, still in India and Pakistan, a sea of under age children have been engaged in a lot of jobs. To be more precise, such minds are still deprived of education which is the basic necessity. Furthermore, we have the world class cricket stadiums and highly rich cricket board; on the contrary, still India has 35% illiterate population according to UNESCO. Moving further, how one can underestimate the importance of medical sciences since this facility should be made available to all at affordable prices which is not available to each and every person easily. Unarguably, on one hand, cinema and sports can be considered indispensable; conversely, on the other hand, solid medical science acts as pillar of a nation. More specifically, still weaker sections of society are devoid of ultra-modern medical facilities and it should be the primary responsibility of a nation to boost more money towards this sector. Last but not the least, almost every nation has been plundered by second wave of the COVID-19 and their medical sector collapsed. As a result, primary responsibility of government is to invest more money in hospitals as compared to luxury categories such as cinema and sports. To conclude, after this discussion, I would like to say that though sports and theatre play an imperative role for the better of a nation but education and medicine can never ever be competed by them.
Contemporary days are witnessing an extreme popularity of entertainment fields such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
owing to which certain masses contend that money should
be diverted
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and medicine since they believe, former categories are luxurious;
however
, later ones are
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
. I am of the opinion that the lion’s share of budget ought to
be transferred
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sciences and education.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
undoubtedly
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
play a vital role in each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
since these aspects
are meant
for entertainment which is necessary to attain rejuvenation. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, on can
also
mushroom career and
moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can stay away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, anxiety and depression by going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and medicine,
still
a number of developing
as well
as third-developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are lagging behind.
For instance
, despite complete ban on child
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
,
still
in India and Pakistan, a sea of under age children have
been engaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
jobs. To be more precise, such minds are
still
deprived of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
which is the basic necessity.
Furthermore
, we have the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
cricket stadiums and
highly
rich cricket board;
on the contrary
,
still
India has 35% illiterate population according to UNESCO.

Moving
further
, how one can underestimate the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sciences since this facility should
be made
available to all at affordable prices which is not available to each and every person
easily
.
Unarguably
, on one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
be considered
indispensable;
conversely
,
on the other hand
, solid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
science acts as pillar of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
. More
specifically
,
still
weaker sections of society are devoid of ultra-modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
facilities and it should be the primary responsibility of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to boost more money towards this sector. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
has
been plundered
by second wave of the COVID-19 and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
sector collapsed.
As a result
, primary responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is to invest more money in hospitals as compared to luxury categories such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
and sports.

To conclude
, after this discussion, I would like to say that though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
play an imperative role for the
Use "best" if you mean to express an extreme with this adjective.
better
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and medicine can never ever
be competed
by them.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that governments should spend money only on medicine and those things like theaters and sports stadiums are luxurious.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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