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Should schools close amidst the coronavirus pandemic.

Should schools close amidst the coronavirus pandemic. yGBwM
Dear editor of The Age, There are countless families across the world who are in utter grief, as they are forced to idly watch their loved ones being slowly withered away by the coronavirus. Whilst non-essential businesses close-up shop and many jobs move remotely; my fellow peers and teachers are still forced to return to school for the sake of education. This must be put bluntly; life is not a game. By keeping schools open, it makes it seem as if the Government is playing some sort of large-scale Russian Roulette with the lives of children and teachers; especially their families. It simply makes no sense for schools to remain open - in doing so it inherently leaves the door gaping wide open for an even more catastrophic spread of the virus. Even with extra-precautions and guidelines which institutions are forced to follow, it will never guarantee that no-one in a school setting will ever contract COVID-19. Only a month ago, Australia witnessed its second largest ever cluster, recording 183 confirmed COVID-19 cases at a single site. No, this did not happen at a pub, not even at a shopping center. This happened at a school west of Melbourne; Al-Taqwa College. For all we know that could just be an anomaly, but the matter of the fact is that it has happened, and small-scale outbreaks will undoubtedly continue to occur until it spreads to every other school; excluding the 58 that have already gone into closure due to students and teachers testing positive for coronavirus. Despite the extra safe-guards, it does not alter the fact that we are all susceptible to the consequences of this horrid virus; even more so the elderly (those 70 and older) and those with health complications. According to the Australian Government’s department of health, there has been a total of 278 deaths recorded in Australia. Of the 278, 247 are of the elderly. Although not as prominent; 31 deaths have ranged from the ages between 30 and 69. Frankly speaking, although we may not experience the awful symptoms, we still have family who are vulnerable. We do not want to find out one day that: our children, siblings, parents or even our grandparents are slowly perishing from this disease, only because WE passed it onto them after contracting it from being forced to attend school. I could never fathom the level of guilt let alone grief a person would experience, knowing that they caused their loved ones to pass. There is only so much the government can implement to ensure schools are as clean and safe as possible, but it will never erase the angst and anxiety of contracting the virus I, and the other thousands of my peers face daily. Make the right decision, there are millions of lives who are at stake. Close the schools and quit playing this silly game.
Dear editor of The Age,

There are countless families across the world who are in utter grief, as they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forced
to
idly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
being
slowly
withered away by the coronavirus. Whilst non-essential businesses close-up shop and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
remotely
; my fellow peers and teachers are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forced
to return to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
for the sake of education.

This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be put
bluntly
; life is not a game. By keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
open, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it seem as if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
is playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of large-scale Russian Roulette with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of children and teachers;
especially
their families. It
simply
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
no sense for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
to remain open
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
inherently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
the door gaping wide open for an even more catastrophic spread of the virus.

Even with extra-precautions and guidelines which institutions are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forced
to follow, it will never guarantee that no-one in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
setting will ever contract COVID-19.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
a month ago, Australia witnessed its second largest ever cluster, recording 183 confirmed COVID-19 cases at a single site. No, this did not happen at a pub, not even at a shopping center. This happened at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
west of Melbourne;
Possible spelling mistake found.
Al-Taqwa
College. For all we know that could
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be an anomaly,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the matter of the fact is that it has happened, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale outbreaks will
undoubtedly
continue to occur until it spreads to every other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
; excluding the 58 that have already gone into closure due to students and teachers testing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for coronavirus.

Despite the extra safe-guards, it does not alter the fact that we are all susceptible to the consequences of this horrid virus; even more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the elderly (those 70 and older) and those with health complications. According to the Australian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
’s department of health, there has been a total of 278 deaths recorded in Australia. Of the 278, 247 are of the elderly. Although not as prominent; 31 deaths have ranged from the ages between 30 and 69.
Frankly
speaking, although we may not experience the awful symptoms, we
still
have family who are vulnerable. We do not want to find out one day that: our children, siblings, parents or even our grandparents are
slowly
perishing from this disease,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
WE passed it onto them after contracting it from being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
forced
to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. I could never fathom the level of guilt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
alone grief a person would experience, knowing that they caused their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones to pass.

There is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can implement to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are as clean and safe as possible,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will never erase the angst and anxiety of contracting the virus I, and the other thousands of my peers face daily.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
the right decision, there are millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
who are at stake. Close the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and quit playing this silly game.
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IELTS essay Should schools close amidst the coronavirus pandemic.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
478 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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