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Some people are oppoed to the use of the CCTV cameras. What are your views?

Some people are oppoed to the use of the CCTV cameras. What are your views? 0nKpl
Nowadays there is a great amount of close circuit television cameras in public places. And despite the fact that these cameras are used for fighting against crime, there is a number of people who are object to their use as they believe that people’s lives must be private. In my opinion, these cameras should be established in order to prevent us from people who can commit a crime and harm us. If there were not any cameras, people would take advantage of it outlawing and escaping without being punished. Having cameras in public places gives policemen an opportunity to look at a criminal and remember his special qualities by which he can be recognized. In addition, cameras do not afford us to do something that do not correspond to the rules as we are afraid of being arrested. However, all the camera videos need to be available only to law enforcement and nobody except them should know about their location as everybody wants to keep their lives private. Also, videos ought to be deleted after some time in order to prevent them from being robbed or pouring into the Internet. Policemen have to records from the cameras only in case of a crime or another accident for investigating and finding more information. To conclude, I would like to say that the government can establish close circuit television cameras in order to reduce a crime level, but they also should make up several ways of protecting camera information from being unveiled.
Nowadays there is a great amount of close circuit television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in public places. And despite the fact that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for fighting against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, there is a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are object to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
as they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be private.

In my opinion, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
should
be established
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
us from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can commit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and harm us. If there were not any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would take advantage of it outlawing and escaping without
being punished
. Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in public places gives policemen an opportunity to look at a criminal and remember his special qualities by which he can
be recognized
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
do not afford us to do something that do not correspond to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
as we are afraid of
being arrested
.

However
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
videos need to be available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to law enforcement and nobody except them should know about their location as everybody wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
private.
Also
, videos ought to
be deleted
after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from
being robbed
or pouring into the Internet. Policemen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
records from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in case of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
or another accident for investigating and finding more information.

To conclude
, I would like to say that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can establish close circuit television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up several ways of protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
information from
being unveiled
.
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IELTS essay Some people are oppoed to the use of the CCTV cameras. What are your views?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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