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Some people are favouring that working hours should be more in their countries.however,the government doesn't want to implement it. What are the advantages of increase working hours?do you think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks

Some people are favouring that working hours should be more in their countries. however, the government doesn't want to implement it. What are the advantages of increase working hours? do you think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks 8EVw
Authorities are denying to implement more scheduled working hours while people are arguing to favour much time for their work. I believe that it has both pros and cons where people can get satisfaction and fulfillment of their needs On the one hand, the advantages of increased working hours is it provides the sense of fulfillment and keeps motivated which may lead towards the growth of career enhancement. firstly, people who are suffering from different financial crisis want to spend more time on their job, where they get satisfied through it. moreover, different private organisations giving overtime for their employees which they want to get benefit with it and get motivated through their own work and labour hard. Despite, employees still dream of getting the organisational demands limited work time for them On the other hand, the concerned authorities are implementing the limited time for the labourers. the reason behind this is people are working for money somehow they think that money is everything and want to spend much time on their work. in my opinion it is good to fix limited time by the government because they can spend happy life with their children and one day suffocation will not end the consequences. however, peiple are still protesting in favour of the government raising voice for more working hour thus, they haven't known about the demerits in the future days. In conclusion, the government should implement the accurate working hours for every employees where they get satisfied with their job as well as their salary too. Thus, the benefits outbalance the drawbacks.
Authorities
The verb 'denying' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are denying
to implement more scheduled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are arguing to
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I believe that it has both pros and cons where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfaction and fulfillment of their needs On the one hand, the advantages of increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
is it provides the sense of fulfillment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
motivated which may lead towards the growth of career enhancement.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
financial crisis want to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their job, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfied through it.
moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
giving overtime for their employees which they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit with it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
motivated through their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. Despite, employees
still
dream of getting the
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisational' is British English.
organisational
demands limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for them
On the other hand
, the concerned authorities are implementing the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
reason behind this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for money somehow they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that money is everything and want to spend much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my opinion it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can spend happy life with their children and one day suffocation will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the consequences.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
peiple
are
still
protesting in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
raising voice for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hour
thus
, they haven't known about the demerits in the future days.
In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should implement the accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
for every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "employee"?
employees
where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfied with their job
as well
as their salary too.
Thus
, the benefits outbalance the drawbacks.
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IELTS essay Some people are favouring that working hours should be more in their countries. however, the government doesn't want to implement it. What are the advantages of increase working hours? do you think the benefits outweigh the drawbacks

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
263 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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