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Nowadays, it is more convenient and easier for people to travel to other countries. Is this a positive or negative development.

Nowadays, it is more convenient and easier for people to travel to other countries. Is this a positive or negative development. OGYk
In the present situation, there have been an increasing number of people who travel abroad for further works. Whereas some people argue thattravelling abroad is very positive occurrence and others suggest that there are several problems in development. I will describe both positive and negative development in this essay. First of all, for going abroad is very exciting and we can meet a lot of persons from other different countries. a trip of abroad after the opportunity which we can experience in new culture and tradition. Dekhen experience of system that is different to that of their home country. For example I have this experience which I visited Japan with my dad. Secondly, travelling abroad is one of the most exciting part of every people's life. However, they face various challenges one of the challenges was homesickness. We will miss the things where we find comfort in, such as mum's lap. it is a natural feeling and excited when moving far away from home. When we get back there will be our parents (family) and friends. Actually, we can connect with them through technology; when we travel abroad they cannot connect with the cultures when day travel in other country. People should know about their language when they travel to other country. So, this is the main problem people face in their life when they travel abroad In conclusion, travelling abroad exceeded the benefit and this decision needs more development from the people.
In the present situation, there have been an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
for
further
works. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue
Possible spelling mistake found.
thattravelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
occurrence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
suggest that there are several problems in development. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, for going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
exciting and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
persons from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
trip of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
after the opportunity which we can experience in new culture and tradition.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dekhen
experience of system
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to that of their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "example, I".
example I
have this experience which I visited Japan with my dad.

Secondly
, travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is one of the most exciting part of every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.
However
, they face various challenges one of the challenges was homesickness. We will miss the things where we find comfort in, such as mum's lap.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is a natural feeling and excited when moving far away from home. When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back there will be our parents (family) and friends. Actually, we can connect with them through technology; when we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
they cannot connect with the cultures when day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should know about their language when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this is the main problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face in their life when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
abroad

In conclusion
, travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
exceeded the benefit and this decision needs more development from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, it is more convenient and easier for people to travel to other countries. Is this a positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
243 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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