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Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society.Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.

Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion. pOka
Some people support death punishment for criminals who committed violent crimes, however, others think this is not right. In my opinion, I believe death penalties could result in decrease number of crimes in society. On the contrary, it could bring injustice to some. One of the advantages of advocating death penalty is reduction in crime rates in the society, resulting in less budget towards jails. People will be scared to commit wrong activities due to the fact that they could be hang till date for those crimes. This harsh result of any bad behavior in society will help the government to spend less on the police and jail maintenance, which can later be used for the betterment of society. For example, the UAE government has a rule of public execution in case of finding a rapist which is the main reason, the number of rape cases in the country has fallen to almost zero, and this helped the UAE government to invest their time and money for the development of country instead of dealing with such expenses to control bad activities by funding police. On the other hand, the drawback of death punishment to criminals is injustice to some people. In other words, justice system should consider the circumstances under which the person has committed the crime. As per the report from justice department of USA, each year 3% of people getting death penalty for their committed crimes are actually happened under some influence by someone older than them or somebody more powerful than them who are responsible for forcefully making them commit those crimes. Therefore, courts should punish criminals by considering situation and case by case basis as it could be unfair to some. In conclusion, death penalty for violent crimes has some benefits to it which will help make our society reduce crimes and a better place to live, however, it has some disadvantage to it if not handled properly by justice system.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support death punishment for criminals who committed violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
,
however
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is not right. In my opinion, I believe death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalties
could result in decrease number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
On the contrary
, it could bring injustice to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.

One of the advantages of advocating death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
is reduction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, resulting in less budget towards jails.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
be scared
to commit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
activities due to the fact that they could be hang till date for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This harsh result of any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
behavior in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to spend less on the police and jail maintenance, which can later be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
For example
, the UAE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of public execution in case of finding a rapist which is the main reason, the number of rape cases in the country has fallen to almost zero, and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the UAE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to invest their time and money for the development of country
instead
of dealing with such expenses to control
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
activities by funding police.

On the other hand
, the drawback of death punishment to criminals is injustice to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
, justice system should consider the circumstances under which the person has committed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. As per the report from justice department
A determiner is probably missing here: "of the USA".
of USA
, each year 3% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
for their committed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are actually happened under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
influence by someone older than them or somebody more powerful than them who are responsible for
forcefully
making them commit those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
Therefore
, courts should punish criminals by considering situation and case by case basis as it could be unfair to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
.

In conclusion
, death
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
penalty
for violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to it which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
,
however
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantage to it if not handled
properly
by justice system.
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IELTS essay Some people advocate the death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of the death penalty and give your opinion.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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