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prevention is better than cure. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. To what extent do you agree?

prevention is better than cure. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures. MD0k
Some people believe that researching illnesses and curing them can cost astronomical amounts of money. Therefore, they argue that preventing diseases is more crucial. I only partially agree with this view. While I admit that it is important to prevent diseases, in my opinion, research into the cause of diseases is our first defence against them. A good reason to continue medical research is that it is essential to save mankind. Many new diseases have developed over the years. Without research into their behaviour it is impossible to cure them. Research is costly but it allows medical professionals to find cures and control the spread of illnesses in the future. After all, the human life is more valuable than money. Therefore, the governments must not hesitate to spend money on medical research and cures. Another point to consider is that the medical researches and treatments benefit the economy indirectly. The medical research sector employs thousands of people. The pharmaceutical companies that produce drugs also employ lots of people and benefit the economy. For example, Switzerland’s economy is supported by the medical industry. Over 60% of its incomes and revenues come from this industry. There are also countries that count on medical tourism. Patients come from different parts of the world to these countries in order to get treated and healed. These host nations make a fortune from this type of tourism. In conclusion, while it is true that medical research and treatments are expensive, they save lives and improve the economy. Therefore, I believe that they are vital for the existence and survival of mankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that researching illnesses and curing them can cost astronomical amounts of money.
Therefore
, they argue that preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
is more crucial. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. While I admit that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
into the cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
is our
first
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
against them.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is that it is essential to save mankind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
have developed over the years. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
into their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
it is impossible to cure them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Research
is costly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
professionals to find cures and control the spread of illnesses in the future.
After all
, the human life is more valuable than money.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not hesitate to spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and cures.

Another point to consider is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researches
and treatments benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
indirectly
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
sector employs thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The pharmaceutical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that produce drugs
also
employ lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
For example
, Switzerland’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is supported
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
industry. Over 60% of its incomes and revenues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from this industry. There are
also
countries that count on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
tourism. Patients
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world to these countries in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
treated and healed. These host nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a fortune from this type of tourism.

In conclusion
, while it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and treatments are expensive, they save
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
Therefore
, I believe that they are vital for the existence and survival of mankind.
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IELTS essay prevention is better than cure. Researching and treating diseases is too costly so it would be better to invest in preventive measures.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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