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Some people admit a bad situation. Others argue that we have to improve the situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A lot of people think that accepting to work with a bess salary or in a job that they do not like is the best way to keep their mental health. In other part, there are whom convinced that there is no way to live in such situation, as a result they have to work hard to change their unsatisfactory life. In my point of view, living with happiness requires to do the best of us to improve our daily life. On one hand, every human being have to keep his mental health safe. In other words, if you are struggling between lake of money and the tasks that you can not stand, you will have a psychological problems. For example in Canada, accordingly to a recent research, 5 percent of suicide cases refer to employees whom had anxiety caused by work stress. Obviously, our health is a top priority, hence, sometimes we have to admit our life style to live releaft. On other hand, numerous people can not accept a job they dislike or a lesser incoming. Therefore, they try to change their work or even have two part time job to improve their lives. For instance, a numerous accountants in Morocco work as teachers for younger students at their free time. They are convinced that they have to work hard in their youth to be more delighted after. To conclude, living in a good health is the main objective. Some people admit that they have to keep things like they are to be happy. Otherwise, some others try tough things to growth in their career. I think, we have to do the best of our ability to improve ourselves situation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that accepting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with a
Possible spelling mistake found.
bess
salary or in a job that they do not like is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part, there are
Did you mean “who”?
whom
convinced that there is no way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in such situation,
as a result
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their unsatisfactory life. In my point of view, living with happiness requires to do the best of us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our daily life. On one hand, every human being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
safe. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if you are struggling between lake of money and the tasks that you can not stand, you will have
The plural noun “problems” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a psychological problem” or “psychological problems”?
a psychological problems
.
For example
in Canada,
accordingly
to a recent research, 5 percent of suicide cases refer to employees
Did you mean “who”?
whom
had anxiety caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Obviously
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is a top priority,
hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit our
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life style
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Possible spelling mistake found.
releaft
. On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can not accept a job they dislike or a lesser incoming.
Therefore
, they try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or even have two
This word is normally spelled with a hyphen.
part time
Possible agreement error. The noun ‘job’ seems to be countable, so consider using: “jobs”.
job
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For instance
,
The plural noun “accountants” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a numerous accountant” or “numerous accountants”?
a numerous accountants
in Morocco
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as teachers for younger students at their free time. They
are convinced
that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in their youth to be more delighted after.
To conclude
, living in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is the main objective.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
admit that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
things like they are to be happy.
Otherwise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others try tough things to growth in their career. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do the best of our ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves situation.
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IELTS essay Some people admit a bad situation. Others argue that we have to improve the situation.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
282 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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