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SOME PEOPL SAY THAT CHILDREN SHOULD STAY IN SCHOOL UNTIL THE AGE OF 18. OTHERS SUGGEST THAT EDUCATING CHILDREN UNTIL THE AGE OF 14 IS ENOUGH. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION.

SOME PEOPL SAY THAT CHILDREN SHOULD STAY IN SCHOOL UNTIL THE AGE OF 18. OTHERS SUGGEST THAT EDUCATING CHILDREN UNTIL THE AGE OF 14 IS ENOUGH. Ng9y
In every country, education sector shares same timeline pattern for children. The youngsters are needed to clear 12 standards in schools, in order to get admission in various universities and colleges. Many undergraduates are of similar age, that is 18. Some say that school education should be limited to 14 years and few are against it. In my view, schooling must be kept until 18 years of age due to certain reasons. To start with, people need to understand that human brain needs time to evolve. Age 18 is the age, when human brain has matured itself and is ready to handle the pressure of advance level education. However, if 14 years old students are exposed to higher education, the results can be alarming. Students will find it difficult to grasp the technical terms. There brain will not process the information being provided as it is beyond their reach to understand that complex knowledge. Students will experience more mental stresses, when they will try to decode and extract information from such complex books. In addition, colleges and universities faculties will experience difficulties in teaching young undergraduates. Professor’s will need to devote extra time to make students clear the basic information, which 18 years old student can easily understand. This devotion will waste lot of valuable time of both students and professors. So, it is better if children remain in school and mature themselves until 18 years of age. In contrast, less schooling will make youngsters graduate at an early age which will bring profitable results. Parents will save a huge amount of money, if 4 years of schooling is removed. Moreover, young graduates will start earning in their teens, making them independent at a very early age. This means that they will work more years and earn more money. Early life settlements will make parents worry less about their children. In addition, this situation will provide youngsters plenty of time to plan about their future and career. To conclude, plan of schooling till age 14, could be alarming for youngsters, as their mental health will be at stake in this situation. However, if this plan is implemented and students are able to bear the burden of higher education, the results could be profitable.
In every country,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
sector shares same timeline pattern for children. The youngsters
are needed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
12 standards in schools, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
admission in various universities and colleges.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
undergraduates are of similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
that is
18.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be limited
to 14 years and few are against it. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
until 18 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
due to certain reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to understand that human brain needs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to evolve.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Age
18 is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, when human brain has matured itself and is ready to handle the pressure of advance level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
However
, if 14 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are exposed
to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the results can be alarming.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will find it difficult to grasp the technical terms. There brain will not process the information
being provided
as it is beyond their reach to understand that complex knowledge.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
will experience more mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
, when they will try to decode and extract information from such complex books.

In addition
, colleges and universities faculties will experience difficulties in teaching young undergraduates. Professor’s will need to devote extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the basic information, which 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
easily
understand. This devotion will waste
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and professors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is better if children remain in school and mature themselves until 18 years of age.

In contrast
, less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
youngsters graduate at an early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
which will bring profitable results. Parents will save a huge amount of money, if 4 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
is removed
.
Moreover
, young graduates will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning in their teens, making them independent at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. This means that they will work more years and earn more money. Early life settlements will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
parents worry less about their children.
In addition
, this situation will provide youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to plan about their future and career.

To conclude
, plan of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schooling
till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
14, could be alarming for youngsters, as their mental health will be at stake in this situation.
However
, if this plan
is implemented
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are able to bear the burden of higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, the results could be profitable.
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IELTS essay SOME PEOPL SAY THAT CHILDREN SHOULD STAY IN SCHOOL UNTIL THE AGE OF 18. OTHERS SUGGEST THAT EDUCATING CHILDREN UNTIL THE AGE OF 14 IS ENOUGH.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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