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Is it important that everyone in the society is treated in the same way? Why?/Why not? Write a 200-250 word essay. Discuss the questions above and give your view on how prejudice and discrimination might be overcome.

Is it important that everyone in the society is treated in the same way? Why? /Why not? Write a 200-250 word essay. Discuss the questions above and give your view on how prejudice and discrimination might be overcome. E37BR
​Nowadays people have different attitude to each other in the varied ways. Someone hates just for skin; one likes only own citizens and so on. Against the background of recent events in the USA, many people express thoughts about racism and other discrimination principles in a human society. This essay will discuss about disparity in our world. Personally, I believe that all people are different and the governments need to find the correct way for relevant group of people that they will be happy. ​First of all, the main reason is human inequality biologically. Some people can raise a 100 pounds rock, others – imagine and produce the well-known pictures. So, the evolution plays with humans and decides which characteristic is suited to person the best. That is why, people are not equal physically. In fact, Afro-American are faster and stronger than people of Eastern countries. ​Another reason comes from history. From ancient times, the white people managed Afro-American population and called them as labourers. In most cases, European countries was more developed than African, so people, who came from there needed to earn money (we can see it today); either European civilization captured a country and controlled their inhabitants. For example, there are a big number of African countries which called as colony and were managed by European countries such as France, Portugal, Spain etc. ​In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the government should pass correct laws that prevent discrimination people. Also, they need to analyse social groups and their behavior to understand people and propagate to respect each other.
​Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
attitude to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in the varied ways. Someone hates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for skin; one likes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
citizens and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Against the background of recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
in the USA,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
express thoughts about racism and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
discrimination principles in a human society. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss disparity"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about disparity
in our world.
Personally
, I believe that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
need to find the correct way for relevant group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that they will be happy.

​
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main reason is human inequality
biologically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can raise a
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
100 pounds
rock, others
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
imagine and produce the well-known pictures.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the evolution plays with humans and decides which characteristic
is suited
to person the best.
That is
why,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not equal
physically
. In fact, Afro-American are faster and stronger than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of Eastern countries.

​Another reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from history. From ancient times, the white
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
managed Afro-American population and called them as
Possible spelling mistake found.
labourers
.
In most cases
, European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
was more developed than African,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who came from there needed to earn money (we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
); either European civilization captured a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and controlled their inhabitants.
For example
, there are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
number of African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which called as colony and
were managed
by European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as France, Portugal, Spain etc.

​
In conclusion
, I am of the opinion that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pass correct laws that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
discrimination
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, they need to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
social groups and their behavior to understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and propagate to respect each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
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IELTS essay Is it important that everyone in the society is treated in the same way? Why? /Why not? Write a 200-250 word essay. Discuss the questions above and give your view on how prejudice and discrimination might be overcome.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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