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Some parents buy they children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want

Some parents buy they children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want 25XRb
Nowadays, a lot of parents are purchasing for their sons and daughters whatever they insist and allow their children to do whatever they desire. I think such pattern of growing children is not a good idea for different reasons and it can lead to various kinds of negative outcomes in the further life. On the one hand, growing children in such pattern is not the best way to show their kindness. There are different kinds of ways to show their love to their children. Firstly, instead of spending most of their time in their workplace, they can separate at least 3 or even 4 hours a day playing with their children. Secondly, with children especially with teenagers, parents should make more conversationt than others. As a result, parents have a chance to be aware about childern's personality as well as about ideas. Recent studies have also shown that, spending much time with children can lead to prosperity in the children's future life On the other hand, buying everything whatever they ask for and get permission to their children to do whatever they want can lead to various kinds of negative problems. For the most part, it can be seen in the problems that related to their future life. For example, such treatment with children can destroy their discipline. As consequence, they can probably encounter with problems that related to the crime. Moreover, after buying things that children wish, can not help with their appreciation of any item. They are not aware about prices of things and in the future probably they will not have a ability to manage spending money properly. In conclusion, even though parents purchase they children whatever they insist and they allow their children to do all actions that they want, i personally believe such treatment is not a good for children's behaviour and it has negative consequences in their future.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are purchasing for their sons and daughters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they insist and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they desire. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
such pattern of growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons and it can lead to various kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes in the
further
life.

On the one hand, growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in such pattern is not the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their kindness. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
,
instead
of spending most of their time in their workplace, they can separate at least 3 or even 4 hours a day playing with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Secondly
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
especially
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
conversationt
than others.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have a chance to be aware about
Possible spelling mistake found.
childern
's personality
as well
as about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. Recent studies have
also
shown that, spending much time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can lead to prosperity in the children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life


On the other hand
, buying everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
permission to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they want can lead to various kinds of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
problems.
For the most part
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the problems that related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
life.
For example
, such treatment with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
their discipline. As consequence, they can
probably
encounter with problems that related to the crime.
Moreover
, after buying things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
wish, can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with their appreciation of any item. They are not aware about prices of things and in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
probably
they will not have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
ability to manage spending money
properly
.

In conclusion
,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
whatever
they
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
insist and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do all actions that they want,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
believe such treatment is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
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IELTS essay Some parents buy they children whatever they ask for and allow their children to do whatever they want

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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