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Some parents and employers accuse schools of teaching "irrelevant" subjects such as History and Art. Do you agree that students should only learn important, job-related subjects?

Some parents and employers accuse schools of teaching "irrelevant" subjects such as History and Art. Do you agree that students should only learn important, job-related subjects? pbqbD
There are two types of subject matter schools. Vocational school, and accustomed school. Vocational schools only teach students with a particular subject. On the other hand, a used school teaches all basic subjects in each field without any specialization such as history and art subjects. Graduates of vocational school are aimed to imply their skill directly. They are able to obtain a job without further education. Oppositely, accustomed school graduates require further education to obtain a job. I can't entirely agree that students should only learn important, job-related subjects. Because learning particular subjects means the students have less option to choose a major for further education and less knowledge on basic skills and information taught through various subjects. In this essay, I will elaborate more on why students should not only learn important, job-related subjects. To begin with, students that only learn a particular subject at school can only choose a major with the same subject. For example, a vocational graphic design school student can only extend their education by pursuing graphic design or any design-related major, which means their field is only circular with specific fields. On the other hand, students that go to an accustomed school have more choice to choose their major since they learn all subjects that can lead them to varieties of majors to choose in higher education. Hence, the students can explore their skills and intelligence before they are specified for their future job. In addition, as stated in the preceding paragraph, vocational schools only teach a specific subject. As a result, students have a lack of knowledge of the fundamentals of other subjects. And it can impact our daily lives, such as when we interact with others and discuss a topic that we haven't studied, and it can make us someone who lacks information and finds it difficult to socialize due to a lack of issues that we are familiar with. It also gives us the impression that we are not broad-minded, impacting how others perceive us. In conclusion, all subjects are essential for developing or maintaining one's fundamental abilities. In fact, we do not need to grasp every teaching in depth, but we do need to understand the fundamentals of the lesson. Because our brain has the potential to learn a variety of topics, all of the lessons we have acquired will be related to one another and utilised when we begin working. Learning a variety of skills is crucial, even if we do not have to master them all.
There are two types of
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "subject".
subject matter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. Vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and accustomed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
teaches all basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in each field without any specialization such as history and art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Graduates of vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are aimed
to imply their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
directly
. They are able to obtain a job without
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Oppositely
, accustomed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
graduates require
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to obtain a job. I can't
entirely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, job-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
learning particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have less option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
for
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and less knowledge on basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and information taught through various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. In this essay, I will elaborate more on why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, job-related subjects.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
with the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
For example
, a vocational graphic design
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
extend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by pursuing graphic design or any design-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
, which means their field is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
circular with specific fields. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that go to an accustomed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have more choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
since they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that can lead them to varieties of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
majors
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
in higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can explore their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and intelligence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are specified
for their future job.

In addition
, as stated in the preceding paragraph, vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
teach a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a lack of knowledge of the fundamentals of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. And it can impact our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, such as when we interact with others and discuss a topic that we haven't studied, and it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us someone who lacks information and finds it difficult to socialize due to a lack of issues that we are familiar with. It
also
gives us the impression that we are not broad-minded, impacting how others perceive us.

In conclusion
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are essential for developing or maintaining one's fundamental abilities. In fact, we do not need to grasp every teaching in depth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do need to understand the fundamentals of the lesson.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
our brain has the potential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a variety of topics,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
lessons we have acquired will
be related
to one another and
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
working. Learning a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is crucial, even if we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
master them all.
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IELTS essay Some parents and employers accuse schools of teaching "irrelevant" subjects such as History and Art. Do you agree that students should only learn important, job-related subjects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
418 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some parents and employers accuse schools of teaching "irrelevant" subjects such as History and Art. Do you agree that students should only learn important, job-related subjects?