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Some parents and children believe that children behaviour sould be strictly controlled. While others think children should be free ti behave Disucss both sides and give opinion

Some parents and children believe that children behaviour sould be strictly controlled. While others think children should be free ti behave Disucss both sides and give opinion e5AdB
Children behaviour is often a debated topic. Many people are of the opinion that there should be a stringent check on the way, a child behave; however, others believe that children should be given a freedom to behave the way they want. In my opinion, children’s behaviour should be monitored strictly as it will be beneficial for their future. On the one hand, many people believe that a child should be given a freedom to express himself the way he want. What these people apprehend is that it develops the confidence of a child. To elaborate, if a juvinile has no fear of the consequences resulting from his actions, he would express himself effectively, which will help in building his confidencee. For instance, an annual report of  “Lyceum School” revealed that 80 percent of the students who participated in different activities organized at shool are the one’s who have less parental control. Hence, it indicates that freedom plays a crucial role in boosting the self esteem of children. On the other hand, it is believed by some that children’s attitude should be monitored strictly, and I agree with them. This is because it will help these children in their future. When there is a check on children’s attitude by the guardians, they adopt good habits, such as social skills, which are beneficial for their future particularly in professional life. In contrast, children whose parents do not control their behaviour often become short-tempered and suffer later in life because of this attitude. For instance, I was strictly guided by my mother the way I should behave, and it helped me in developing good life-skills that contributed to my career growth later in life. Therefore, I believe children should strictly be taught how to behave. To conclude, although freedom will help students by  developing their confidence, I believe that it would lead to embarrassing situations later in life as these people who experience such type of upbringing are often over-confident and short-tempered. Students with strict behaviour guidance in childhood are found to be more successful in their careers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
a debated topic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that there should be a stringent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on the way, a child behave;
however
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to behave the way they want. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
should
be monitored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strictly
as it will be beneficial for their future.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a child should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to express himself the way he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
. What these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
apprehend is that it develops the confidence of a child. To elaborate, if a
Possible spelling mistake found.
juvinile
has no fear of the consequences resulting from his actions, he would express himself
effectively
, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in building his
Possible spelling mistake found.
confidencee
.
For instance
, an annual report of
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
“Lyceum School” revealed that 80 percent of the students who participated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities organized at
Possible spelling mistake found.
shool
are the one’s who have less parental control.
Hence
, it indicates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
plays a crucial role in boosting the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self esteem
of children.

On the other hand
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
attitude should
be monitored
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strictly
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their future. When there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
attitude by the guardians, they adopt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits, such as social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which are beneficial for their future
particularly
in professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whose parents do not control their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become short-tempered and suffer later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
because of this
attitude.
For instance
, I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strictly
guided by my mother the way I should behave, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me in developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that contributed to my career growth later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strictly
be taught
how to behave.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students by
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
developing their confidence, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it would lead to embarrassing situations later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who experience such type of upbringing are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
over-confident and short-tempered. Students with strict
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
guidance in childhood
are found
to be more successful in their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
careers
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IELTS essay Some parents and children believe that children behaviour sould be strictly controlled. While others think children should be free ti behave Disucss both sides and give opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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